Flash Fiction- Dashing Daniel vs The Haunted House

Chapter 1 and only

WHRRRRRRRRREERRRRRR

The House awoke at the sound of the far-off wailing sounds coming from the road.

WHEEEEERRRRRRRREEERR

The House had stood for over a century and was a temporary medical refuge during the Civil War. Many had died within its walls, and it no longer remembered what soul possessed it, nor did it remember what side it fought for. East or west? These details did not matter to a house.

What did matter was that something was on its property as it was beginning to wake. A quick search with its tree roots would reveal what was amiss-

CHOP

Before it could finish that thought something was at the door. Standing on its unwelcome mat.

CHOP CHOP

Not wanting to deal with this so early in the morning, The House responded with a CLIK by locking the door.

CHOP CHOP CHOP CHO-WRRRCC...WHUMP

The door fell over as a man carrying an ax, a crazed smile on his face, and wearing a red collar shirt with jeans walked in.

Trespassers would not be tolerated. The House would be content with scaring the human away instead of taking his blood. This was a time to articulate.

"OUT GET," The House said, its word echoing throughout the walls.

Wait. That wasn't quite right. It had been a long time since it spoke.

"GET OUT!"

But the man sat on the couch not even daring to take off his shoes.

"Wow, a genuine haunted house." He said, "I'm Daniel by the way."

The House creaked with frustration.

GEEEETTTTTOUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

"Lovely. " Daniel said.

GEEEEEETTTTOUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

He did not budge. Never mind that speaking was more of a party trick if anything (not that anyone had a party in The House anyway). It would try something else.

"I'm on the run from the cops as I look for my dear lost mother, and of course hacking away anyone who gets in my way," Daniel said relaxing.

Probing his mind, The House responded by bleeding a detailed replica of Daniel's Mother in Civil War-era blood. And instead of a fearful yelp, Daniel let out a caveman-like "ooo" and pointed at the wall.

"Yes, that's her!" he said.

WHHHHEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEERRR!

The wailing sounds were now outside the door.

"The cops!" Daniel said.

The House responded by growing a new front door sealing Daniel inside. It didn't want more visitors.

"Perfect plan House...!" Daniel said.

Taking a look outside using his creepy clown gnomes, The House saw four metal chariots that said "Poe-leese." It didn't know what that was, but it didn't want it.

"We should storm the house if Dashing Daniel is inside!" The leader said.

"I'm not sure Boss, don't people who usually go after Dashing Daniel...often die? Maybe we should just write off this one...we're just local cops." the other said.

Tired of listening to their babble, The House grew a giant vine throwing the chariot in the air. The men screamed and quickly scrambled to hide behind their other chariots. They wouldn't leave. Humans were paradoxical things, scare them too much and they couldn't move.

If it got rid of Daniel, it would get rid of them. Hopefully. It'd eat them too if not. As Daniel peeked out the window giving it a thumbs up. The House then began rumbling as it opened up its floors. Daniel quickly fell down inside. There were many skeletons within its floor. Daniel seemed to take notice.

"I was right!" Daniel said, "This is the right house!"

Right house? Of course, it was. No other houses were alive. The floor sealed up the massive sinkhole as Daniel examined the uniforms.

"These are the nurses and the patients. Both North and South. This is the legendary Haunted House from Civil War Legends!"

Those words drudged up memories and if the House had hands it would have facepalmed. Now it remembered! It wasn't a part of the Civil War, the soldiers and the nurses had..invaded its doors. Taking care of the wounded, and so the House had opened up its floors, trapping them all underground. Each one had died a slow and cold death, North and South. These details didn't matter to a house. It remembered its murderous teenage years fondly.

"Even if it was over a hundred years ago, I can't forgive a monster.." Daniel said, "I'm the serial killer who kills monsters."

The House echoed with a rumbling echo that would be described as laughter. What would he do? He was just a man, it was the House. Now Daniel would di-

KABOOOM!

The House screeched with pain as it had felt something awful on its side.

"I was looking for you. Everything else was a distraction as I probed for information, I planted bombs around your foundation." Daniel said, "I didn't expect the cops. I could use a ride though."

How dare he? They deserved it for bleeding all over its carpet. KABOOM!

If it should die at least Daniel would go with it. But Daniel was cackling loudly much to the House's confusion. KABOOM! The pain burned, perhaps it would be forced to accept its death.

BUT IT STILL HURT!

KABOOM!

As the walls began falling down along and its antique furniture being consumed in flames, the House saw the irony of the situation. All it wanted to do was get rid of Daniel and go back to sleep. Now, it would have a long eternal rest. The explosions continued and eventually, it lost all feeling and everything became still.
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{Thank you for reading. If you would like to read more about Dashing Daniel and his quest to hunt down monsters, please read the 4 part story. I do plan to write more Daniel Flash Fiction, if you have a monster or horror trope that you'd like Daniel to take on please request so in the comments.}