For the love of me

Chapter 2

The ride to Kayla's house was a quiet one. She tried to console me in the beginning but after about five minutes of crying I was no long sad. I moved on to anger next. I made sure to unfollow him all social media and block him on my phone. I wasn't one to dwell on my feelings about a man because if I did, I'd be depressed for a while and after my first heartbreak I promised myself I would never let another guy make me feel like that and I stood on that. The rest of the ride I was just in my thoughts about how I let a man play me the way he played me and I was furious at myself about that. I pulled up to Kayla's house and she gave me a look that said she felt bad for me.

"Girl, don't even give that look for real. I'm ok, I promise. You know I don't let these niggas get one up on me. I'm already on to the next." I chuckled trying to light the mood.

"I know how you are and I know you're good but you've been messing with him for a while now. You haven't messed with anyone for nearly this long since..." She started to trail off and I knew she wasn't sure if she should say his name or not.

"I know. And honestly I truly am sad about how it went done and cause I was really feeling him but we know how these niggas are. I knew not to completely let my guard down so that this wouldn't hurt as much and you know I don't even like to think too much of it. I will be fine. It's not the end of the world." Kayla reached in for a hug and although we weren't the hugging type, I took it. It felt nice like my sad feelings just floated away.

"I love you girl. Call me when you get home." She gathered her things to get out the car.

"I love you too and I will." I watched as she went to check that her car doors were locked and then enter her house before I pulled off. One thing I loved about Kayla and Nina were that they were there for me through anything and I mean ANYTHING.

I got to my house about twenty minutes later and I sat outside in my car for a couple minutes just thinking. A few more tears ran down my face but I quickly wiped them away. I really needed a fat blunt I thought to myself. That's when I remembered that Monty had asked me to smoke with him. I looked at my clock on the dash and it was only a quarter past seven. I thought about just sitting in my car until the time I told him I'd be home but that would be for an hour and fifteen minutes. I knew he seen my car by now. I really needed a blunt for my nerves and didn't want to wait around. I grabbed my bags and took them into the house.

I used the bathroom and took a nice hot shower. Getting out the shower, I lotioned my body and put on a burgundy and black two-piece lounge set I got from some online boutique and finished the outfit off with my all black Ugg sandles. I went back into the bathroom and did my face routine making sure to get all the makeup off. I moisturized my face, went back into my room and grabbed my weed, rollies, and lighter. I made my way down the hall to my little brothers' room, poking my head into the slightly open door.

"Hey sissy." My 10-year-old brother said breaking eye contact from the game he was playing for only a second.

"Hey Isaiah." I smiled. Isaiah was the youngest, right under me. He was eleven years younger than me and seventeen years younger than our eldest sister. He meant everything to me and probably one of my only siblings I would never have any issues with. I looked around his room and seen Taj laid out snoring on Isaiahs' bed. Taj was my Irish twin. He was only eleven months older than me but you'd swear he was younger than me. Like way, way, younger. "Did he feed you before he passed out on YOUR bed?"

"Yeah, he good. He only came up here to play the game with me and then sat on my bed and passed out."

"Ok, well I'm going next door to Monts' for a little. If you need me call me." I said turning to leave. "And wake his ass up and tell him to go to his room."