Childhood 2.0

The Choice

I felt as if there was a hole in my life and heart. My best friend was ignoring me. He even said that he no longer wanted to be my friend. This hurt a lot. I could not pick between him and Bethany. She was a good friend. It would hurt her if I said that I could no longer be his friend. Why could I no longer have two good friends? I did not know how to solve this. What hurt the most is when I saw Rocco be with the other boys. I did not even play football, as it hurt so much that he would even ignore me in the game.

This meant that I spent more time with Bethany. She had the ability to make me smile. She knew that Rocco no longer was a friend but thought that he would get over it. I hoped that she was right, but as every day went by, this seemed to become less of a possibility. It was good that I had Bethany. We had a lot of things in common. She even wet the bed which meant we could console each other and convince each other we were not weird. She liked the same music and the same films. She seemed also mature for her age. The funny thing was that everyone at school thought that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. This made me laugh until one day when Bethany asked me to be her boyfriend. I do not remember saying yes to this, but now I had officially a girlfriend.

It was strange having a girlfriend. It meant that I was in love with a girl. It should have meant that I was floating on a cloud all the time. I did love Bethany and I enjoyed it when I was with her. We were still too shy to hold hands and do all the smoochy things, but that did not matter. It gave us a new status at school. The only people that did not like it was Rocco and Adrian, Adrian continued to tease and push me when he could. It seemed as if he just liked terrorising me. Rocco on the other hand tried to keep away from me as he could.

One day when I came to school, everyone was pointing at me and calling me a baby. Some were even asking if I was wearing a diaper. I wanted the ground to swallow me. I knew that Rocco told everyone my secret. How could he be so mean that he told everyone that I wet the bed? Did he hate me so much that he wanted to destroy my life? Now it was not just Adrian that was bullying me. Everyone was teasing me. Children could be so cruel.

I was mad at Rocco. I walked up to him during lunch break and asked him how he could tell everyone my secret. He told me that he did not tell anyone and he was doing his best to forget me. I got mad and told him that what he had done was so wrong. I launched into him and let punches fly. I wanted to hurt him and in some way, this will tell him how hurt I was. We were soon in a fight as we were throwing punches at each other. The other children were soon standing around us. In some way, using each other as a punching bag released a lot of frustrations and anger. I knew that fighting was wrong and never achieved anything, but I never did think straight when I was mad.

Bethany broke up the fight and told us we were acting like two toddlers. She looked me straight in the eye and told me that it was her fault that everyone knew that I wet the bed. She confided to a friend that we both had that problem and it was her friend that told everyone. I just stood there and looked at her. I felt so betrayed by Bethany and felt guilty for blaming it on Rocco. This was a bad day. My girlfriend helped spread my secret. I attacked my friend who was innocent, and I even found out that I have done badly in the exams we had.

When I was home, I just slouched on the sofa. I felt as if I lost a friend for good, I felt as if I could no longer trust Bethany. I just wanted to touch the statue and get away from all of this. Mom could see how sad I was and sat down next to me. I started sobbing her as I told her everything. Mom hugged me and told me that I was too young to have a girlfriend. Concerning Rocco, he would forgive me in time. He had always been my best friend, and this was hard to destroy. Time would heal everything. I just needed to be patient. As for Bethany, I would need to forgive her. It took a lot of energy to hold grudges and dislike people. Forgiveness always gave freedom and a chance for a better understanding of each other. Mom could be so wise. She could see there was hope. I needed to believe in what she said, that everything would sort itself out.