Being mute...and gay

No One Can Hear You

Kyler's P.O.V.
My alarm clock blared and I groaned rolling over to turn it off. I got up and yawned stretching my limbs from my deep slumber. I went over to my closet and picked out a pair of black skinny jeans, a black graphic tshirt, my red & black stripped gloves, a spiked bracelet, my spiked belt and my plaid suspenders.

I put my outfit on and slipped on a pair of black converse. I fixed my lip piercings and my silky black flippy hair. I put eyeliner under my eyes and i looked at myself in the mirror smiling at my reflection. I grabbed my plain black book bag and headed off to school.

I put my earbuds in and blasted my screamo music. I gripped my white board because I was scared of the local bullies in my neighborhood popping out at any moment to jump me. I was shocked that they were at the entrance of the school picking on the nerdy kid.

My best friend, Jasper, waved me over and I smiled when I went over. "Hey Kyler, how are you?" I gave him a thumbs up and he hugged me, "He didn't hurt you?" I shook my head and he kisses my head gently.

He led me into school and went to my locker. I opened it and put my books on the shelf and slammed it shut. Jasper looked at me weirdly and I started to shake. "Hey, hey calm down Ky. I'm here." I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back just as tight. "Nothing can hurt you. You have my word."

I had his word ever since my 'accident' one year ago. I grabbed my bag and he walked me to our first period class. I took my seat in the way back where the teacher doesn't even bother to look at me. She knows what happened and she is ok without me speaking.

I sighed and listened to her teach. Jasper grabbed my hand and I looked at him. He squeezed my hand asking if I wanted to leave and I gave him two squeezes saying no. He rubbed my hand with his thumb and I bit my lip.

I am gay...but Japser doesn't know that. I want to tell him but I don't know if I can. I don't know how he is going to react and I don't want to loose my best friend. I mentally cursed myself and jasper shook me signaling that class was over. I looked at him and I got up. I let him drag me to second period and by then I just wanted to crawl back into my bed.

Throughout the day, I left several of my classes because of my anxiety attacks and my depression. It has gotten worse and I want it to stop but I know it won't. During my last period, I started to shake badly and Jasper got me out of the room. He brought me to my little quiet place (which was a gap under the first floor staircase) and he held me tightly.

"Shh Shh calm down Kyler, everything will be alright. I promise you that. I promise that the world will get better and I promise to be there every step of the way. No matter what, you will always be my number one priority and nothing will change that." I smiled at that and hugged him while burying my head into his chest.

He rubbed my back and kissed my head, "Always remember that, if anyone messes with you, I will be there to defend you. Through thick and thin, hell even a zombie apocalypse." I giggled and he laughed softly, "I know it sounds dumb but it's true." I pulled out my white board and marker to write to him.

'Jasper....' He looked at me concerned, "What's wrong?" I wrote slowly, 'Would you still be my friend if I was....gay?' He nod softly, "Of course, why would I leave? I think guys like that are strong to admit it." I smiled and erased then wrote the four words, 'Jasper, I am gay.'

He smiled more and kissed my temple, "Kyler, I am here for you. No matter what, gay or not." I hugged him more and my smile never faded.

It's good to know that Jasper is here for me but its a bad thing that he doesn't know that I'm gay for him...no one can hear my thoughts but right now. I wanted to kiss Jasper.

That's right, I wanted to kiss my best friend.