*･゜ﾟ*Tales Till Dawn *゜ﾟ･*

Alright.

Tw: mention of suicide
Suicide
Voices
Attempt
Angst
Cutting
Bad friend..?

Sorry

'Clay?' George asked, he had a concerned look on his face, he probably thinks I'm insane. Maybe I am.. who knows.

I look up at the brunet. I'm very tired but I'm trying to stay awake for George. I hummed as response.

'You know it's all going to be alright, right?' George lays his hand on mine. His hand felt so warm. Mine was just cold, ice cold.

'Mhm.' I hummed again while avoiding eye contact. I don't want to start another conversation about this, about me, about us. George caught me today, again.

I was just cutting tomatoes cause I was making a salad for myself, I felt alright because a salad is normally a sort of symbol for something healthy, I was on the right path. But as soon as the knife went against my fingernails when I was cutting the tomatoes I heard it, I heard the voice again. The voice reminded me of how I deserved it, how I deserved to die.

-

'You know it all your fault, right?' I almost cut my finger.

'Come on, you know you want to.' No I don't, two weeks of progress would be down the drain. George would be disappointed in me.. very disappointed.

'He's already disappointed in you.' The voice spoke 'Like when you cheated on him, stole money from him and many, many more things. I'm surprised he is still by your side, you don't deserve someone like him.'

That's true, I guess, I don't, I truly don't.

'He's probably still friends with you out of pity.' I grabbed another tomato and started cutting a little faster then before. 'Taking thing slow? How are you so dumb to believe that, he just doesn't want you, Clay, accept that.'

'Accept the fact that you're a freak, a no one.' I feel the knife pushing against my finger tips. 'Nobody will ever notice if you were gone.'

'Nobody?' I whispered

'You know you want to.' The voice said as I looked at the knife. It was very sharp, it definitely could leave a big thick scar.. I deserve it anyways. I do, I do. I had a large hoodie on because I didn't want to be confronted by the marks on my arms. I pulled the sleeve up and lied my arm onto the cutting board.

I felt myself faintly smile. I made one long stripe from up my wrist down, following the blue vein. I cried a bit at the feeling, how pathetic. I bit the bottom of my lip harshly as tears rolled down my cheeks. I lean with my head onto the cutting board.

I deserve this, I deserve this.
I. Deserve. To. Die.

'Dream?' A voice was heard 'DREAM! DREAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!'

Fuck, fuck, fuck.. how do I hide this. I quickly roll my sleeve down.

'Dream, Clay.. what are you doing!' George cried out 'Why, why!'

'I did nothing, please!' I squirmed back 'please, please, please..'

George went up to Dream and grabbed his left arm, holding it up, pulling his sleeve down.

Never do that

I tried to free my arm but it was to late. Blood was running down my arm, making ugly orange stains on my arm.

'IS THIS NOTHING? IS THIS NOTHING TO YOU.' George cried

'Yes.' Was my answer, I'm nothing..

'Dream, I thought we talked this out!' George cried

I looked at him blankly 'I- I deserved this.'

'N-no?! You did not, Dream.. no.' George said

'I hurt you.' I did.. several times.

The brunet sighed deeply as he looked at my arm. What would he be thinking of me? He must think I'm weird, that I need help..

-

'I think.. you need to seek professional help and support.' George said quietly

I look at him with half lidded eyes. We've talked this out before, I don't want to. They'd think I'm mental and- and- and sent me to a hospital or something.. far and far away.
I shake my head.

'Dream.. it would be the best for you.' George smiled at me.. was he happy to sent me away? Into some locked up room with nothing but a bed and water or some shit?

'Don't you think it's nice to have someone to vent to and help you?' George said in a calling tone 'You know I'm not the best at that. Besides, the therapist can't tell it anyone else, your secret would be safer with them.'

Safer? Can't I trust George?

'No.' I don't want a therapist. I don't need anyone.. or do they just not need me?

'I- I can't even afford it.' I learned that therapists can be rather expensive then helpful.

'I can help pay!' George said
I know he can't, why would he even spent his money on me.

'No.. no, no, no, no...'

'You know what.' George said 'why don't you sleep on it.'

I looked at him and nodded. I'll try to tell him no tomorrow, I guess.

'Goodnight, Dream.' George said before leaving my bedroom.

God, why am I so stupid. I don't want a therapist. I winced at the pain in my arm. Maybe..  maybe it's time to end this all. My arm wouldn't hurt, George wouldn't be hurt and I wouldn't feel hurt. It would take a few seconds of a lot of pain and then.. then it's over! I would be free, free from all the problems I caused. And- and George wouldn't have to spend his hard earned money on me! My parents wouldn't have to pay for my college tuition.. everyone is happy then!

I sighed as I grabbed my notebook form the nightstand. I ripped out a piece of paper and grabbed a pen out of my bag. I wanted to write one last thing to George. Hmm.. how should I start off. Maybe.. I don't know.

'Hello, George.'
That feels weird, no.
I crumbled the piece of paper into a ball and threw us onto the ground and ripped another piece out of my notebook.

'Dear, George.'

I wrote down.

'Goodbye, George, now you finally can be happy :)' I wrote down as last sentence. I left my bedroom and locked at the clock hanging in the hallway. It was around 4 am, perfect. George is probably in a deep sleep, no doubt he's not going to catch me this time.

As I walked past his door I hesitated and went back to stand infront of his bedroom door. I opened the door a little to see a peaceful brunet sleeping. 'Goodbye, Georgie.' I muttered as I closed the door and went downstairs.

'Now where should I put this.' I held the letter In front of me. I tilted my head as I looked at the dozen of magnets on the fridge. 'Perfect.'

I grabbed a few magnets and put the letter on in the center of the fridge. I put a magnet over it and it hung lopsided. Something.. seemed missing. I put another magnet on the other side so the letter would be even. Funny, they kinda look like eyes now. I looked at all the magnets in my hand and decide to make a smiley out of the magnets. I smiled at it.

I took a deep sigh. 'Alright.'