locked up 1

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Silence. Only silence. Nothing else. Footsteps. First soft. Than louder. Food. Kling. The door opens. The plate with food. Drifted to me. The door closes. I look at the plate. One potato and a glass of water. Everyday the same. That is my punishment. Eighteen years.

I close my eyes. I try to sleep but I know it's hard. I like to sleep. I see something else than the walls. But my dreams are not that much better. I have always the same dream. It's about mu past. The burning house. Thats all I see. I walk around in the house. Fire. Fire. Everywhere. Smoke. Higher and higher. Breathing becomes harder. I fall on the ground. Trying to breath. Air. I need air. I look around to find a spot to escape bit I can't see a thing. I see black holes before my eyes. More and more until I see nothing anymore. That's when I wake up.

It is always night when I wake up. I can see that through the little window. I look at the walls. I made paintings on the walls with little stones I found on the ground. My paintings are what I feel. How I am. What I am. A murderer.

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