twenty-three suns | kang taehyun

ZERO DAYS LEFT

That was the first and last time that Taehyun lied to you. Because after he left your room that night, he didn't come back. You never got another text from him, nor another call. And you didn't try to reach out either. You knew where he lived, you'd been there countless times, but for some reason, even when you drove past that familiar road, you wouldn't dare go down it, feeling your heart drop into your stomach at the very thought of it. Perhaps it was because then you'd know that was the last time you'd see him. Maybe his absence was his last gift to you, because now you wouldn't have to waste time saying goodbye.

The morning of your last day, you and your parents woke up early. Much earlier than you needed to, probably, because your flight wasn't until mid-morning, but you found yourself awake before your alarm went off, feeling more well-rested than you'd been in days, and you couldn't sit still any longer, choosing to pack your last few belongings and sit quietly in your sitting room with all of your bags.

Your parents emerged not much later, dressed and ready to go, and you watched them try to hide their emotions as they looked at you, surrounded by your life packed into various suitcases and bags, and you in turn did the same, looking down at your feet instead of looking them in the eye.

The ride to the airport was almost silent. Soft classical music played from the radio, breaking the quiet, but no one dared speak. Your last few hours alone needed to be cherished, and no one wanted to taint it by saying the wrong thing. In a way, you appreciated it, but you simultaneously sort of hoped that someone would break the awkwardness, say something weird to make you laugh so that you could enjoy this time.

But no one did.

Even though you'd woken up early, you reached the airport on time, and as you gathered your bags yourself, hoisting one over your shoulder and dragging your overstuffed suitcase with your other hand, you bid your parents goodbye. Your mother was the one to finally break the silence, telling you that you'd probably gone over the weight limit for your suitcase, and that made you burst into tears, opening the floodgates with just a single sentence, and then you were all crying and hugging each other, saying words you never thought you could utter aloud to your parents. You couldn't remember a moment where you felt so close to them, and it was right before you were about to be physically further than you'd ever been.

But as you turn around to finally, finally leave, after many "last hugs" and "last words" from your parents, you see someone that you hated and loved at the same time, and you drop your bags onto the dirty floor and run into Taehyun's arms, sobbing and screaming obscenities at him. How dare you? I hate you! I love you!

And he understands all your half-crying, mushy words, because he says the same things to you. How dare I? How dare you! I hate you more. I love you too.

And he kisses you there as you're in his arms, ignoring your parents and the people around you gawking at the likely disturbing display of affection and hatred, but you swear you've never had a better kiss. Maybe in theory you have, because his lips are slightly chapped and you taste salt from both your tears, but in that kiss you feel everything he'd been wanting to tell you, and you do your best to make sure he feels the same way. You push your feelings, your last words, everything into that kiss, parting only when you feel like your lungs are about to burst.

"Promise me one thing," he says breathlessly, cupping your face in his big hands, thumb stroking your cheek.

"Anything," you say, holding his hand to your face, not wanting him to let go.

"Live," he whispers, and even though it was only one word, it reminded you so much of that kiss. Because that one word was all you needed. You knew what he meant. And though you couldn't stop crying long enough to reply, Taehyun knew that you would have said the same thing to him.

He watches you sling your bag over your shoulder again as you depart, and you don't turn around to look at him again. He knows why, and he's glad that you don't, because if he saw your face just one more time, he would have lost his composure and begged you to stay, and he would never forgive himself for that.

When he exits the airport, the sun has fully risen. The sky is a perfect blue, and he can't seem to spy a single cloud, not one tiny white puff. The twenty-fourth sun that Taehyun sees, you're no longer by his side, and his heart hurts a million times worse than his eyes as he stares directly into the bright sphere that represents everything and nothing at the same time. But he is happy, despite his clogged-up nose and puffy eyes, still leaking tears, and deep down in his heart he knows that you are too. And that is more than enough for him.