"How do you think we did? How do you think I did, more specifically. You did great. You somehow managed to be so charming throughout the whole thing, even when we were discussing serious topics. How do you do that?" Mikyung sighed, half talking to herself at this point. "But I feel like I did terribly." They had just finished their photography presentation, and though everyone had clapped a lot and seemed to be impressed... she couldn't help having doubts.
"You were wonderful," Haknyeon said, laughing at her panic. "I'm being serious," he insisted when he saw the skeptical expression on his face.
"I started crying. That was so embarrassing."
"It was not," Haknyeon retorted. "It's a difficult topic. Everyone understands that and I think everyone was moved by it too. I saw some tears from the audience too."
"Really? I didn't notice."
"That's because you were too busy crying yourself," he teased, bumping his shoulder against hers playfully.
She laughed, but the laughter got caught in her throat. "It could be any day now," she said softly. "I'm scared to even look at my phone. I'm scared of bad news. And I hate myself for not having accepted this by now," she whispered, tears polling in her eyes and falling down her cheeks. She swiped at them angrily with the back of her hands. "I've known for a while. But even when I see her, even when I see how close she is... It doesn't feel real. It just feels like some horrible nightmare," she said angrily, clenching her fists. She wanted to complain about how unfair everything was, but she stopped herself. She didn't want to sound whiny. Life was unfair.
She just wished she could have accepted that by now.
"Mikyung," Haknyeon said softly, taking her hands in his. She looked up at him. "You cannot hate yourself for something like that. She's your mother. This is hard, really hard. It's not going to get easier. And just because it seems as though the knowledge of her condition is going to prepare you... there's no way you're ever going to fully be prepared. Because she's your mother, and you love her. We trick ourselves into thinking we have forever with the people we love, but we don't. All you can do is be grateful for the happy times you guys did get to spend with each other, and pray that you meet each other in your next lives, you know?"
She nodded, sniffing. He hugged her, and though she was too exhausted to hug him back, she gratefully sank into his embrace. "You're right. I know you are. Thank you."
He just pressed a kiss to her hair, hugging her tighter. She closed her eyes, feeling grateful for him. She always felt safer when she was with him.
