𝑅𝐸𝐷 𝑀 𝐴 𝐷 𝑁 𝐸 𝑆 𝑆

𝑇𝑤𝑜

Tw: abuse, assault

Waking up with the guys at my side was the only way I thought about not getting hurt again. I just made it worse for myself, though. How stupid was I to think he would let it go? My father called me a slut and thought I was hooking up with all of them. He didn't know we were friends because he had no idea what friendship was like. He never cared to ask.

I was convinced the four horsemen were drinking straight-up vodka. Why would they do that? I drank a lot but it was never this strong. My life was a living hell and I wondered what made them drink vodka at my mother's funeral? They didn't know her, they barely knew who we were. It was political and yet, when Damon Torrance met my gaze, something felt off.

His eyes sparkled with light like he had seen a ghost. As if his head was filled with gloom, worry, and anger. Whatever he felt, it wasn't towards me. It couldn't possibly be about me. I didn't know him. He never spared me a glance or even talked to me in the halls at school. Then, why was he feeling so, confused? What was this sort of madness?

I tossed everything about last night in a box labeled trash. There was no way the buzzing in my head would go away if I didn't. My mother was dead, I didn't need a reminder that everything might get worst for me. I was well aware of my father lurking outside my bedroom at night. I could still pretend, for a moment, for a night, I could pretend my life was normal.

Sitting up in my bed, I yawned as I observed my friends sleeping like babies on the pillows laid on the floor. It was that or the hard freezing floor. They chose the pillows rather than a cold and sleepless night. I would have made the same choice.

"Tori," Loren said and stroked my back. He was the only one I allowed to touch or hug me. He was my anchor, my violet person. It was a stupid assumption of me, believing he would never feel anything. He was like a brother to me. When he kissed my forehead, I knew he didn't consider me a little sister.

"Morning" I fell back in my bed, my head already railing. The huge headaches started about a week ago, the hitting started six years ago. I couldn't blame it on my father this time. This was my fault and I didn't know how to fix it.

Loren wrapped me in his arms and ran his fingers through my exposed stomach. He was harder to see than most guys. He was the boy everyone liked and loved. There was no way around it, he was the person everyone wanted to be. He was like sunshine. Nobody knew he was falling apart.

Keeping an image so people don't judge you or rant about how an awful person you are was extremely hard. Especially on bad days, which, my life was consumed with. I didn't even know what good days were anymore.

Loren had a great family, before the accident. His parents divorced and he chose to stay in Thunder Bay with his mother. She was a great woman, someone he loved very much. Even if she didn't pay attention to him.