Flowers of Andong [COMPLETED]

14 February 1951

Kiyong POV

I opened my eyes, the bright sunlight made me shut them again for another second. I didn't know where I was. I moved my head around and saw Namjoon sitting on a chair beside me. I tried to reach for him with my left hand but I couldn't.... because I didn't have one.

I started to panic. I began to hyperventilate. The monitor beside me began beeping violently and woke Namjoon up. He stood up and tried to calm me down and called a nurse to help. She laid me down again and when I was relaxed, she asked me a few questions.

"Sir, do you know where you are?" she asked.

"I... I..." I couldn't speak. I was stuttering and I continued to stutter. "I d-don't know."

"Sir, it's okay. You're in Busan. You were admitted last night, unconscious and severely wounded."

"W-what about you?" I asked Namjoon but he didn't reply.

The nurse spoke instead, asking, "Sir, are you alright?"

"Namjoon..." I said and reached for him with my other arm but it went right through him. "Namjoon?"

"Sir... Who are you talking to?" the nurse asked me.

"Where's Kim Namjoon?" I asked frantically. "He's my best friend. He supposed to be here. Where is he?"

"There was a solider carried in with you last night but as far as I know, he... didn't make it."

"... What...?" I stared at Namjoon in front of me and he smiled weakly. He took a few steps backwards, backing away from me and I got out of the bed wanting to follow him. "W-where are you going? Namjoon. Stop..."

He turned around and began walking away, but the nurse tried to hold me back.

"Namjoon!" I yelled and ran after him with the nurses following my tail. I pushed them out of the way and kept running. I ran out of the building and suddenly, Jisoo was across the street. She smiled and waved at me, and I made a run for her but suddenly a car's honk went off and I made eye contact with headlights right before everything turned black.

...

My eyes shot open as I shuddered awake, my entire body still in an awful ache. I looked around me and saw Namjoon dozing off on a chair next to me. There was a throbbing pain in my left shoulder and I looked down but from the elbow down, there was nothing. Judging from the immense pain I felt, I wasn't dreaming anymore.

I sat up from the bed, groaning slightly as I did so. It seemed to have woken Namjoon as he rubbed his eyes and smiled at me, "You okay?"

I didn't have much of a reaction, seeing him in front of me, and only said a quiet, "Yeah."

"The nurses said you'd be ready to leave today, remember?" he asked. I nodded as a response.

Every time I looked at Namjoon, I was reminded of how I held onto him when we were escaping and how I fell off the truck because I didn't want to let go. In those moments, when I thought I'd lose my best friend, I was so scared. It made it hard to speak to him, and to speak in general, so when nurses had questions, he answered for me. His injuries were small and he could've left a long time ago but he stayed behind to take care of me.

"Do you remember where we are?" he asked, "We're in Seoul... right?"

I nodded with hesitation.

"Is there anywhere you want to go? Like back home to your family-"

"Busan," I said. I didn't know if Jisoo would still be there after the war but it was the last place I knew she was in.

"A-are you sure?"

I nodded again but firmly this time. He sighed and got up from his seat, walking over to a nurse to let them her we were gonna leave. Shortly after, Namjoon and I found ourselves getting off a train in Busan.

"Where did you want to go again?"

I wanted to go to Jisoo's aunt place but I didn't have any of her letters anymore so I didn't know where it was or how to get there. It was already dark outside so we couldn't go that far either.

"The park," I replied. I used to go to the park with Jisoo all the time back in Andong. I figured if I were to look for her, maybe I'd find her at a park.

Namjoon asked around and people pointed us in a direction. Eventually, we made it to a park and Namjoon helped me to sit on a bench on the side. Now, I was staring at my left arm, or technically, just the stub that remained. They told me I was run over by a truck and the bones from my wrist to my forearms were too shattered to repair. And just like that, I didn't have an arm anymore.

"If it weren't for you, I'd be dead," Namjoon said quietly. I didn't look at him, I remained focused on my nonexistent left arm. "Because of me, you lost your arm and I came back fine... I'm sorry, Kiyong."

I blinked and gave him a small smile.

"It's not true!"

I looked in the direction of where that woman's voice came from and I couldn't believe my eyes... Even in the dark, I knew it was her.

"I know it's hard to accept-"

"No! It's not true!"

"He's dead, Jisoo-ssi!" the man shouted and continued to say something that I couldn't quite hear. He was holding onto Jisoo's hands and she cried uncontrollably. Almost immediately, I became numb and my heart ached.

"I wonder what that's about," Namjoon muttered. Little did he know, that woman was my Jisoo...

It's been over a year since I've seen her and she looked different. Matured. Broken.

I wanted to get up and run to her, but seeing the other man pull her to his chest and wrap his arms around her, I couldn't move. I watched as he rubbed her back gently as she cried onto his shoulder. But even as I watched the other man comfort her, I didn't feel jealous or betrayed. I felt guilty.

I've been through a lot these past few months. I've seen a lot of things that can never escape my mind. Now, as a man who can't even get a sentence out of my mouth and who doesn't even have two arms, I felt useless. Even if I could be with Jisoo, it wouldn't be the same. Jisoo deserved to be with someone who wasn't broken like me, and she deserved to be with a man who could at least hold her with both his arms. I knew I'd hate myself for it, but I had to let her go.

"Do you know her?" Namjoon asked me.

I shook my head, resisting the urge to shout her name, to get up and run to her, to hug her and kiss her and tell her that I loved her. And I loved her more than anything in the world but... I shouldn't.

You know, the villagers in Andong used to say the we were liking flowers blooming in the Spring whenever we were together but sitting here, pretending as if I didn't know who Jisoo was, I knew they'd never feel the same way.

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Flowers of Andong

안
동
의

꽃