How To Survive

1. The crush that finally noticed you

It's always someone, and there's always that time. This is for the people who haven't had that moment, and for the people who have already had that moment (so I can torture them with bad memories).

Next, I will explain exactly what to do when your in an uncomfortable situation with your crush, and you just feel like jumping into a lake of fire.

Step one: Never approach him/her. Always let them approach you. If you approach them... You're meat. I don't even know. That probably leads to the end of the world. Just don't.

Step Two: Once YOU (YOU!!!!) are approached and the conversation begins, act cool. It's not as easy as it sounds... But you can do it!

Step Three: Don't make eye contact. Never.Make.Eye.Contact. If that happens you might as well scoop your eyes out with a spoon.

Step Four: When the conversation goes nowhere immediately start talking about toast. Say something like "Oh my god so I had some toast this morning... Or yeah. I'm sorry."

Step Five: Once he/she looks at you with a "wtf?" Face begin to recite all the rules of Mean Girls. Then, once he/she is really freaked out, just say I love you. Say I love you repeatedly grabbing them romantically tight

Step Six: Date. 5:30 PM. Chinese food.

Step Seven: 38829282 babies and a 388291918 dollar billionaire=you and him/her. Then you die. Together <3