Experiences gives me better lessons as time goes by. I maybe fell, got hurt, and almost dared to give up. The past has something to be thankful of in this current times of my life; the near future.
I closed my eyes as I feel the presence of the wind as my hair goes along with it. Let out a heavy sigh and genuinely smiled.
You've been through a lot, Vernice.
Being surrounded with the people who uses me for a long time has been exhausting. Physically, also emotionally. It left a scar on me as I grew everyday. I wanna make myself better, not for anyone.
I promised to myself that after all of what happened, I will choose myself first above everything else. Self love is a must.
It maybe a long process to be fully healed but I can manage.
Maybe I still can't cope up with my traumas but I'm trying to heal day by day, to live my life, as I am loved by the people I love.
"Naiara!-- wait, is that you?!" Lumingon ako sa bandang gilid ng likuran ko. Nagugulat sa nangyayari.
"How have you been?"
I glanced at Lawrence, my best buddy when I was in junior highschool. We met in a band that time. He's a guitarist and I am one of the vocalist.
Reminiscing those times made me smile a little. If I could only turn back the time. When I can still smile genuinely around the people around me, looking carefree.
"I-I am fine . . ." I pursed my lips as I smiled back at him. "I should be the one asking you that. Kumusta ka na?"
Having a fear when there's no one to save me before, realizing it will be always myself who knows everything can only save the pain I've been always trying to heal.
"Oh! I'm doing good. Sobrang daming ganap. If you're free we can talk about anything.— Uhm, and I have . . . I mean I'm already a highschool teacher now." He said. My mouth parted even though I knew he could make it eversince.
"Also, I am having my part time as a band guitarist too every weekends." He added. I nodded my head, looking proudly at him.
Binuksan niya ang kaniyang bisig para sa 'kin. I immediately hugged him and slightly cried my heart out to him. He's once my comfort . . . before.
"Are you proud of your best friend?" He jokingly asked to me.
"I've always been proud of you, Rence . . ." I wiped my tears away and looked at him in the eye. "Hindi ko nga inaasahan na dito pa talaga tayo magkikita." I chuckled.
"How are you? You can tell me Naia, just like before, even though years already passed by." We sat on the near bench. I nodded at him.
We talked a lot about our lives now. Ngunit nagtira pa rin ako ng para sa sarili ko kahit na alam kong mapagkakatiwalaan siya. It's just that . . . I can feel that it's not necessary to say, so we ended up saying goodbye’s from now. I asked what is he doing here but it is really a coincidence that his brother is having a celebration in this resort too.
Meanwhile, I just planned last week to go here having my unwind vacation for a while.
"So, sino pala ang kasama mo rito?" He asked. "Wala ah, ako lang." We laughed. "Totoo nga?" I nodded.
"You can call me if you want having me as your accompany." I registered his number through my phone and smiled. Wala naman akong balak, at saka nakakahiya rin ano.
"Tapos ano pala . . . Kailangan din namin ng vocalist sa band, kung gusto mo sumama just call me, hmm?" He shrugged.
I nodded as a response.
"Alright. Take care, Lawrence. I missed you, seriously." Ngumiti siya at ginulo ang buhok ko. "Bukas pa naman kami uuwi kasi mamayang gabi pa yung celebration. Invited ka ah, you can go whenever you want."
"Hindi na, happy birthday nalang sa kapatid mo. Uuwi na rin ako mamaya eh. I gotta go now Rence, I'm always been grateful having you as my best friend." I hugged him again and tapped his back softly.
"O sige, mag i-ingat ka." We waved to each other as I go back to my hotel room.
I don't know how I'd been able to wake up every morning feeling numb and still learning what should I do.
I packed my things and fixed myself before lunch so I can go back to work as soon as possible, right before lunch.
Napag-isipan ko na rin na sa fast food o kaya’y kung saan na restaurant na madadaanan ko nalang kumain.
Pumara ako ng taxi ngunit lahat ng dumadaan dito ay mayroong laman. It's already 1:30 p.m.
Ngunit hindi pa rin ako nakakauwi. I cursed a lot inside my head. I supposedly booked a grab when a black ford mustang stopped infront of me. Sobrang naiirita na ako dahil gusto ko na ring makauwi.
Inangat ko ang tingin sa bumukas na bintana ng sasakyan.
S-Sean . . .
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