About Us || VHope - V x J-Hope (BTS)

Spoon

Today was.. complicated.

His emotions were jumbled all over the place, and now he was left feeling empty yet too full and dizzy at the same time.

He was tired.

He checked the reflection in the mirror and saw someone he knew so well staring back at him with dull and dimmed eyes. He caressed the bag under his left eye attentively before pulling the skin down until the red of his eye sock was visible. He held it there for no particular reason other than to press his fingers deeper and deeper until he could feel dull pain of his nails biting. Then he took his fingers off, noticing an angry red mark appeared on his cheek with little to no concern. He scoffed instead at how puffy his eyes looked right now.

God, he was exhausted.

He let his hand fall limp to his side and turned around to walk out of the bathroom. There's no use in keeping on looking at his own reflection. Nothing was going to change anyway, not his burden, not his responsibility, especially not his life.

Did he regret it?
Even in this wrecked up state, he would definitely say No.

Did he want to change it?
The original answer was also a No, and he would never give any other answer if being asked.

But lately, as the expectation that being put on his shoulders gained in numbers, and since he could never stop himself from thinking about what's best for the bigger picture, consciously adding more weight on the responsibilities he had to carry, he started to entertain the thought of saying a Yes, even though only in the safety of his head.

The light of the bedroom was dimmer than the bathroom. He needed to blink three times to adjust to the difference.

When his eyes had adapted to the bluish hue of the room, he looked up to find his partner had finished on changing from his broken-white shirt and brown pants into his favorite Hawaiian shirt and comfortable shorts.

He tilted his head slightly,

'his shoulders really are boarder now', he thought as he walked slowly to the figure.

He stopped when there's only five centimeters away between them and let himself fall to the familiar sturdiness in front of him, making the other sway from his weight but thankfully able to hold his stance. His nose was hurt from the impact, but he couldn't find himself to care.

He took a shuddering breath instead.

"uh? hello?", his partner asked, sounding entirely confused.

He didn't answer. He didn't think it needed to be answered in the first place. He closed his eyes and exhaled a long sigh. Being shorter than his partner for several centimeters did have its own benefit, it seemed. The way he could just turned his head slightly to hide his face in the crook of his neck, basking in the familiar scents of musk, soap and daisies, sent waves of familiar feelings pulsating along his bloodstream.

It was warm. It was safe.

"hyung..?"

He still couldn't answer. He didn't trust his voice. He didn't even trust himself at the moment. So he did what's best he could do for now, burying his face even deeper.

He felt a hand, noticeably bigger than his despite only two centimeters taller, wrapped around his thin wrist, holding it lightly. It was all the warning he could get before he lost his hiding place because the other was turning around to face him. He felt another hand reach out to his face now, easily covering one side of his head and cradling it gently.

He was too weak to not fall into the temptation. He closed his eyes again from the contact and let his head fall into the warmth.

He could feel when the other was caressing the red mark from earlier with his thumb, the attentiveness and tenderness burned, he was sure if he had to open his eyes now it would glisten with uninvited tears.