Broken Knot.

Chapter 29

I went to sleep in Nicks old room while waiting for him, it takes about 20 minutes to get here from the neighbourhood he's at and I was getting a little tired after dinner, so I might as well strike up a nap while waiting for him. I stared at the photo on Nick's nightstand, in the indigo painted frame was a picture of us at his 21st birthday. I was wearing a violet dress Denise bought for me and Nick was hugging me by the pool in his swimming trunk. Looking at this photo it brought me back sweet memories. He was kissing the crown of my head and I'm pretty sure I was laughing because at that time Joe fell into the pool and Denise went to get the camera instead of trying to help him out.

I laughed, those were the good times.

But how is it possible that our marriage has failed so quickly. Was Nick bored of me already? Despite how he was being all sweet and back to the Nick I fell for, but lately it's like he's going back into the dark days where he cut me out of his life. I'm so scared to lose him again.

Was this all just for the baby? Is our love gone forever? All these questions are running through my head. Suddenly I felt the tears running down my cheeks, each stream burned its way to my chin. I let them sink into the soft pillow as I stared at the photo. I turned away from it and stared out the window on the other side of the bed. The night was still clear and the moon has just made its way to the sky.

I see Nick's car turn into his parents driveway. From then I couldn't see what he was doing, but I did hear the car door close and his footsteps rapidly running into the house. And seconds later I hear downstairs, the yelling and Denise's infuriating voice. It was strong and her words sounded harsh towards Nick. I shut my eyes as if shutting out the events downstairs.

I realize more of my tears was crumbling down my cheeks. I grasped onto my blanket, yearning for a touch of warmth. I wish I didn't bump into Denise, I wish I didn't say yes to this dinner. And I certainly wish Nick never offered that dinner.

Kevin's voice was now heard, he was yelling too. But it is odd that Nick's has not been heard. Kevin's voice grew louder, and in seconds the door of Nick's room opened. Kevin's voice was more than crystal clear.

I didn't move.

The door creeks on its way to closing just like 8 years ago when I first came here, nothings changed. My breathing became uneven as I felt his hot breath surrender behind my neck and his muscular arms shawls around the baby bump on my stomach.

At this moment, literal second... I feel like I'm with Nick. Like I am literally feeling what he feels. Our heartbeats seems to be in sync. I felt his heart beat racing right on the surface of my back.

Either that was because he was nervous or because his heart beat has not reached its rhythm from his walk up here.

A soft peck is placed on my neck, then he just rests his soft lips on the crook of my neck for a while.

"I'm sorry baby..." he said, then continues, "I know I promised to show up... I was really about to leave the office, but I was held back my Olivia, she needed help scanning the files. I felt bad to have her go home by herself so I stayed back for a while... I know I promised to not let you down, but this time its real. I promise it wouldn't happen again."

The tears continue to stream down my cheeks. Faster. More. More intensely.

I brought my hand to my cheek to gently brush off the tears without him noticing. I could hear him draft a sigh out his lips.

He turns me around to him in a gentle manner. I look at his tired face from work, his eyes were droopy and red. His shirt was a bit wrinkled and his arm still embraced me into him. He brings his left hand up from my waist to my cheek and brushes off the tears, I closed my eyes not wanting to look him in the eyes as I cry.

"Don't cry for me..." Nick says softly, then moving in from the gap to lips and draws a soft kiss on mine.

It just made more tears to surge out my sockets and my breathing was uneven and unable to find its pace. Hearing him say his so called I promise somehow I feel like its not going to be kept.

Few nights ago I just told him how I need him and he tells me he gets it. But he doesn't...

"Please speak to me baby..." his voice becomes vulnerable as he pulls me into his chest but I push away with my hand.

I sniffled and try to catch a grasp of a breathing pace.

When I opened my eyes, I see Nick clear right up. He stared into mine that were washed up by the tears, and I try to look back at his without piling more tears. Nick's eyes were begging for me to speak.

"I can't d-do this a-anymore..." I managed to say as I closed my eyes again, "You can't keep your promises, what you say today is not what you will do tomorrow. What you promise today is just to hold onto me today... promises are never kept, I-I just can't Nick..."

And the tears came flooding in again as I sobbed into the palm of my hands.

"Babe... I know I'm wrong. I know these promises I make are just stupid because I can't even fulfill them... but baby I swear just listen to me this one last time..." he begs, bringing his forehead against mine.

I push away from him again, "How can I trust you?" I pull my hands away from my hands and stared into his eyes, "You get mad easily when I tell you I go out with Chace for lunch or simply just chatting with him but half the time I don't even know if you are really that at work or if its Zac and Justin who are calling you out..."

Nick stared at me speechless, at the rim of his eyes he had a tear drop streaming down his face and soon embraced itself onto the soft pillow. There was a moment of silence where he just stared at me and I tried to catch a breath.

"I just want my husband back..." I cried, losing my voice at the end, "When was it that we stopped talking and laughing for real? When was our last date before I was pregnant?" I sighed, "When was it that I lost you..."

I say so quietly it was nearly a whisper in the end.

Nick takes a breath and finally spoke, "I don't know. Did we grow up? Was marriage really too early for us Sel? Did we know what love was?"

He questioned me, and in my best knowledge this feels like he's about to break it off with me. Then he continues...

"Because I did. I knew what love was back then," he answers himself, "and I do not regret marrying you, because you are the one and only woman that I love. You complete me Sel, you understand me at my worst and you are the one person that keeps me on track."

I sniffle again brushing away my tears and finally looking at him for real. Listening for real.

"I know I have not been the perfect husband, I know I screwed up and I'm in great gratitude to have a wife like you to give me an eternity of chances. Sometimes I know I seem distracted, but in the end I love you just as much as I did when we got married. I know that somehow we both fell off track sometime last year..." he sighs, then cups my cheek in his palm, "But you're always in my heart, it was a hectic year and I know its a lie if I say its only work that drew me off... Selena I love you and I would do anything to recover the missing piece in this marriage."

Somehow those words sounded so real to me. It was like everything I had wanted him to say, he said it right on point. The tears swell by the rim of my eyes and I felt some slowly slipping away to my cheeks.

This time, they were happy tears.

"I promise you this time I will keep my promise... in a couple of months we are going to be parents and I promise you I will give my full attention," he promises, "I know promises sounds silly to you now, but this is one I keep. Because I know that our family is the most important in the end. Right this moment you are the only one I care for, don't let me go Sel..."

I sighed, "I'm not letting you go... but don't push me away, open up to me if you're stress, even if its the silliest thing that happened to you at work... I don't want to miss out on anything..."

"Baby I promise you..." he leans in pecking my nose then my lips, "I love you baby."

I snuggle into him, wrapping my right arm around his waist line, "I love you too."