Broken Knot.

Chapter 35

The doctors came in to check on her, Dr. Burke said it should be normal for things like headaches to occur. He said that it means the brain is slowly processing the memories or something like that. He said to give her more rest, they will keep her here for a few more days to monitor her, just in case of a seizure.

-

It's been three days since Selena woke up, she is slowly gaining her memory back. The doctor was planning to discharge her the next morning.

This morning when I visited, she remembered that she was teaching JK/SK and that we moved in to the new house. She brought up about painting a room for a baby we will have in the future, I guess she has not remembered about our baby.

No one has informed her about losing the baby, the doctor also recommended that we don't talk about it until she remembers. He said its better for her gain her memory back slowly because something will trigger her to remember things or some memories will just never be remembered.

I just pray to God that she will not remember the incidents of me cheating on her.

I was downstairs getting some jello and orange juice since that was what she was craving. On my way back to the room I hear her sniffling, I push the door open and ran over to her. She was crying again, she had her knees close to her chest as she hugged it and cried.

"Baby what's wrong?" I wrapped an arm around her, "Do you want me to get the nurse?"

"I'm sorry Nick," she looks up to me with her face all red and teary, then falls over to my chest and continues to cry, "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry."

"Hey... hey..., tell me what's wrong," I hushed her.

"We-I'm not a mom anymore..." she cries harder and toughens her grip around me, "I'm sorry Nick..."

Crap.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I-I was looking in my p-purse for my phone t-then I found the printout of the u-ultrasound," she sobs and wipes her tears before continuing, "I was really happy so I went to ask t-the nurse but she t-told me I had a m-miscarriage after the fall."

She hasn't remembered that she was hit by a car not a fall from the stool.

"Babe don't cry," I hushed her again, "We're young we have time to have another one."

"I know... but-," before was able to continue the tears forced its way out of her sockets as she cries harder again onto my chest, and her tears soaks into the cotton tee I was wearing.

I embraced her tighter as if releasing my stress, I kissed the crown of her head, "It's not your fault."

It's mine.

I continued to soothe her until her cries turned into sobs and soon became silence as she fell asleep in my arms. I hope the nurses would let me stay the night, it's not that I don't trust them but she's so vulnerable right now. I know it's not right to break the rules and I'm perhaps not the first family member that asked to stay because my wife is in desperate need of my presence, but shouldn't they let me stay so that she would not be in an emotional wreck?

I was kicked out by the time the clock struck 9 I was kicked out. They allowed me to stay 24hrs when she was still under the intensive care unit, but now that she is labelled as a "general patient" it limits my time with her. I stayed with her for dinner, she seemed alright but didn't speak much and when she did she started to cry again.

I pecked her on the crown before I walked out, "I'll be right outside, call me if you need me."

She just nods and waves to me.

"I love you," I say before walking out. I took a seat right outside from her room, they had a glass window between the outside and inside her room, the blinds her partially up so I could still see what's going on in her room.

She was staring out into nothing, after a bit she presses the button to bring her bed down and she lies down with the bed. She knows I'm sitting out here and perhaps even watching in on her, she turns the other direction, her back is facing me but I see her back shaking, I can tell she is crying again. I want to go in but I know the nurses will kick me out again.

The last thing I want is for the nurses to see her cry.

-

I hadn't even noticed it was morning until the cleaning lady was doing her rounds and cleaning the rooms, I hear her trolly cart come around the hall. I sat up from the hospital bench I was sleeping on, oh the crack on my back tells me I'll be in pain for the next few days...

I stand up to look into her room, she was still asleep. I check my watch to see if it is 10 yet, because that would be the time for visiting hours. But she was getting discharged today anyways, so might as well wait until the doctor comes. It was still early, it was 9:34AM I had time on my watch to run down to get breakfast for both of us. I went to the cafeteria that was slowly getting filled by doctors, nurses, patients and visitors. One thing I discovered while being here for about a month, it's that their breakfast special is better than Mc Donald's.

I ordered two breakfast special that came with both waffle and pancakes and took the take-out back up with me to her room. It should be about 10:15-ish by now. It took me about half-an-hour in line and to order the food.

The moment I got there Dr. Burke was on his way out with his nurse along with a few interns. He smiles at me by the door.

"Good morning Mr. Jonas, I have good news for you," he first announces.

"Morning," I smiled back, "How is my wife?"

"Mrs. Jonas is doing terrific, I have just discharged her, but just come for check ups once in a while and I prescribed her with some medicine that you could pick up downstairs at our pharmacy later and..." he speaks uncomfortably as he stands closer for just me to hear, "I recommend for her to see some counselling if she needs, now I'm not a psychiatrist but it seems that she is not handling the news too well about the miscarriage. So if you find that she is depressed, go speak to the counsellor here."

"I know, thank you Dr. Burke," I said, before he nods and walks off.

"Take care," he smiles and pats my shoulder for support, before he walks away with his interns.

I knocked on the door before I walked in, Selena was ready to go, she had everything on and was just slipping into her shirt. I took her duffle bag and her purse.

"Ready to go?" I took her hand.

She simply nods and follows my lead. We get into the car after I paid for the hospital fees which were outrageously expensive. She gets into the car while I settle her bag into the trunk.

"Here I got you breakfast, it's waffles and chocolate chip pancakes," I smiled, passing the bag of freshly made breakfast.

She holds it in her lap, "Thanks."

"Hey," I held her in mine, "Don't hide anything from me, if you are depressed or anything, I'll be here."

She looks at me and her eyes begins to dwell with tears again, "I don't want you to take time off because of me..."

"Hey, anything to make you happy."

She smiles, it was a soft smile but it was the first smile I saw on her face since 24hrs, "I love you."

"Love you too," I pecked her lips and started the car, hoping she will slowly forget about the miscarriage. And perhaps just never remember about the accident or even the reason for it.