euphoria

iii.

donny and olivia being together means two things for me; a: i'll always be their third wheel and b: i have to see them all coupled up all the time because instead of olivia being any normal girlfriend who would ask her boyfriend not to talk to his girl best friend, she prefers me being around. i don't necessarily mind, unless it's days like today where we're short staffed at the cafe and donny's too busy staring at her to actually help. i wait all of his tables, take care of all his orders and steal all of his tips.

    after seven cups of spilled coffee, six screaming children, five sassy teenage girls, four times i've tripped, three receipts crumpled and thrown at me, two chatterboxes who can't work, i turn into one angry gemma. thankfully liv has to leave, but also not because i enjoy her company. "bye gem!" she smiles and kisses my cheek. "bye, liv!" i giggle and wave goodbye. as soon as she leaves, i turn to donny. "either i tell your mom about your bullshit, or you owe me a huge favor," i scowl. he rolls his eyes as i storm off.

    the workload comes along a lot easier when there are two people doing the work evenly. i decide i want to take a small break before finishing my shift. i lay my head down on the table in the back and take my hair down, letting it fall to my chest. i hear footsteps, and then a clink on the table. too tired to lift my head, i dig farther into my arms. i hear a low chuckle and fading footsteps. i drift off to sleep without even thinking about how i was supposed to go back out.

     when i wake up, i see a cup of coffee and a small portion of tiramisu. beside it, there's a note on a yellow sticky note that reads, "you said i owe you one, so have this as a token of my appreciation," i smile when i see it. i fold it and stick it in my pocket so i can put it on my wall when i get home. i walk back out to the front, where, surprisingly, it's dark outside. donny turns around and smiles. "oh, good, you're alive," he laughs. i grin. "where is everyone?" i ask. "you were out for like two hours, it's almost closing," he says nonchalantly, "shit, why didn't you wake me?" i ask frantically. "you were exhausted, you didn't want to be moved," he replies. i roll my eyes and he laughs again.

"let me finish up and then we can walk home," he announces, fixing my bangs. he walks to the back and disappears. i stand by myself for a moment, trying to figure out what he did to my hair. suddenly, the door jingles and i jump. i look over and see it's just ethan, blayke, and dawn, who come in super late every time we're working. "where's your dark haired accomplice?" blayke jokes. "he's in the back," i reply when he diverges from the back of the shop. he jumps when he sees them and groans, "please tell me you don't want anything" he sighs. "nope, just coming to check on you guys," ethan adds. donny takes a deep breath of relief and takes off his apron. "let's go, germ," he motions towards me. i snicker, walking to lock the doors.

    the walk home is like any other, with dawn and blayke hand in hand, ethan to my left and donny to my right. dawn and blayke are walking way ahead of us, talking about some new video game. i sigh and kick the rocks on the ground as donny and ethan bicker back and forth.

    the stars have always been prettier in maine than they were in italy. ever since i was little and learned to climb, i'd sneak onto the roof to stargaze. it's my second favorite thing to do, reading being the first. i let everyone ahead of me and stare at the sky for a bit. it makes me feel a little bit more content with myself when i do. donny stops and turns to me, then an expression appears on his face. i've never seen him look at me that way. i smile in return and he turns his face away. i shrug and continue walking. ethan exchanges a look with donny, but all donny does is keep his head down.

     we finally make it to our street, where blayke and ethan wave goodbye. "you're not very talkative today, are you okay?" donny asks. i spin suddenly. "yeah! i'm just insanely tired, i haven't slept the past few nights," i laugh nonchalantly. "does ms. ronica know, gem?" it always catches me off guard when he calls my mom by her first name. "no, donny, it's not affecting her," i groan. "i'm just trying to look out for you," he sighs. i rub my temples, and i want to strangle him, because i hate when he gets defensive over things that don't concern him at all. "i don't need you to, i'm capable of doing that myself," i sigh angrily. "fine. goodnight gemma," he rolls his eyes and starts to storm off.

i stand alone on the pavement and rub my eyes. i hate how worried he gets, and i hate that i make him so upset. he's my closest friend. he's only looking out for me, i have no right to be so upset, and to be honest, i don't know why i got so upset. i kick another rock and walk to my house alone.

       when i walk in, there's nothing but utter chaos. lucia and florence are fighting again, asher and connor are playing just dance, bowdy is nowhere to be seen, mom is getting ready for work, and kent is making sure she has everything. i quietly slip upstairs and walk to my room. i immediately flip onto my bed and sigh deeply. i roll over and hear a slight crinkle in my pocket. i reach in and pull out the sticky note from my earlier, smiling the stupidest smile.

        i feel my face get a little hot. i sit up suddenly and run to the bathroom, checking my face. i'm as red as a cherry tomato. i groan. this is bad, really bad. it's been three years since i last blushed at something he's given me. my feelings can't resurface, or things will be awkward. i'm not risking losing my best friend over some silly crush.

i run back to my room and change into my pajamas. i lay down and get as far under my blankets as i can. maybe i just sleep it off and it'll go away. donny and i are strictly platonic, and we always will be. him and olivia are destined to be together. they fit each other perfectly. i don't get to intervene with that.

i drift off to sleep. tomorrow is saturday, which means it will be an easy, relaxing, and peaceful saturday.