I was too stunned to know what to say, the only thing I was aware of was the cold wash of dread that came over me and the fact that I had to focus to keep from opening and closing my mouth like a fish. We hadn't told anyone about the lawsuit, and I had put it as far out of my mind as possible. Jared had said that there was no point in letting the man take up more space in my head than he deserved. To my knowledge, the entire ordeal had been kept as hush-hush as possible.
I feel Jared's arm slip across my stomach as he forces me behind him. "We have no comment" I hear him growl and I let my forehead drop forward onto his back between his shoulder blades, trying to breathe. This wasn't happening, not right now.
The Paparazzi's voice rings in my ears again, and his words make me squeeze my eyes shut as phantom pain slices through my head. "There are rumors going around that Rebecca was involved in an altercation while you were on tour." I could almost feel the back of my skull bounce off the hard crates again, the image was certainly there to remind me.
"Says who" Shannon barks.
There was an edge of almost sadistic pleasure in the strangers voice. I could tell he was enjoying the reaction he was getting from the men. "I'm not disclosing my source, it's someone close to you though." Every muscle in Jared's back immediately tenses, anger starts radiating off him in waves.
I feel movement in the air as the limo pulls up beside us at the same moment his statement seeps through the gray fog of my brain. Someone close to us...
"You better fuck off if you know what's good for you." Shannon replies. Jared shifts to open the limo door, not waiting for the driver to get out, and I catch a glimpse of the stranger again, flinching when he lifts his camera to snap a photo. I watch as Shannon moves his hand to swat the camera away and the man steps backwards.
There was a smirk on his face as he raises the camera and clicks the button a few more times. "I'd be nicer, you don't know what I know."
Feeling the door jam behind my calves, I turn and slip into the limo just as I catch sight of Shannon lunging at him. "Shannon!" Jared growls in warning.
"Hands off buddy" The mans laughing voice drifts into the vehicle. A moment later Jared slips into the limo, tugging Shannon in with him. Slamming the door shut, he barks at the driver to head home.
I can feel their eyes on me, all at once. "Are you OK Becks?" Jared asks, sliding towards me. Holding my hand up to keep them away and nodding, I slip further back into the seats. The familiar darkness starts to settle in around me and my ears start to ring as I feel my eyes prickling. The lawsuit...those beady brown eyes staring at me from the other side of the room, a face I had long tried to forget.
Their voices float over me, questions about who it was in our group that had spoken to someone; but all I felt was a hand on my neck and the boxes at my back. Someone I trusted had told the media about the darkest moment of my life.
The whimper that slips out of my mouth sounds so foreign, until I intake a shuddering breath and can't hold it back anymore.
Wiping madly at the tears on my cheeks, both their sudden movements towards me again have me cry out and slide further away. "Leave me alone, please..." I beg, a pang of guilt hitting me as I watch Jared immediately stop and Shannon recoil like I had slapped him. Some small part of me knew that Shannon still lived in that dark time as well, and I felt terrible to drag someone else back down into it with me.
When the limo comes to a halt, I don't even hesitate to check if we are home, knowing instinctively that we were. Lunging over their legs, I grab the door handle and fling the door open, tripping over my heels as I scramble out into the cool air. The house was a comforting sight, but it wouldn't have mattered where we were, I needed to get away.
Wiping at my tears again, I lift my dress and hurry towards the house, ignoring Jared calling after me. Opening the front door, I rush towards the stairs, barely registering Chloe crossing the foyer with a glass of wine. "Becky, whats wrong?" she calls behind me, quickly following me up the stairs. When she enters my old room behind me and shuts the door, I tug at the cuff around my wrist. "Please help me undress" I beg her through choking sobs.
She silently puts down her glass and walks around behind me, gently tugging the zipper at the back of my dress. Hearing the bedroom door open, I glance up through my tears to see both Jared and Shannon standing shoulder to shoulder in the doorway. Turning away from them, I stare at the ground near my feet, my skin was crawling right now; I knew it wasn't their fault but I just couldn't stop feeling his hands on me.
Chloe leaves for a moment, and I hear the door silently click shut before she returns. "They're gone" She says quietly as she slips the dress off my shoulder and lets it drop to my feet. I carefully step out of it, leaning over to pull my heels off. "What happened?"
Unable to find the words since I didn't exactly know what had happened either, I just turn to my old bed. It had been months, why was my attack bothering me like this again? Tugging back the comforter, I silently slide in between the sheets, my back to the door. Everything inside me felt like it was electric, and the back of my head ached with such a familiar pain that I reached back to rub it. Closing my eyes, I burrow into the blankets.
I hear the closet door slide open on its tracks and the hanger clinking on the metal bar, knowing Chloe is hanging my dress up, but when I catch the sound of the door knob being turned fear slices through me. "Don't go, please don't go" I cry out. I couldn't be alone with him in my head right now, couldn't be in the dark with him again.
The sound of a glass being placed back down behind me sends another zing through my brain and I feel Chloe sit down on the covers beside me. Embarrassment, shame, humiliation, fear, loneliness; all weigh heavy on me and I start to sob, burying my face into my pillow.
Suddenly I feel the bed shift as she settles down beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist and hugging me tightly from behind. None of the other women were here and frankly I didn't know who else I could trust, but I did know one thing, and that was that Chloe had never been told. I let the warm comfort of her hug soothe me and it wasn't long before I drifted slowly to sleep.
Lunging at me, he covers my mouth and pins my back against the crates. No no no no, this can't be happening. "They should have known better than to bring a pretty young woman in to their crew and leave her unattended" he says quietly. I fight at him, trying to drop to the ground or wiggle to get away, but he holds me tight, his hand so firm of my face that I can barely breathe. A sadistic smile crosses his face. "Go ahead, keep squirming, I enjoy your fear".
Crying out, I try to sit up in bed, fighting the tangle of sheets and the arm resting over my waist. "Becky! Becky, its OK!" I hear Chloe's voice behind me and I spin around in bed wide-eyed to look at her. "Lay back down, it was just a dream..." She says quietly, and taking in a shuddering breath, I slowly slide back down in bed.
Staring at the wall in front of me, I was too shocked to close my eyes. The bedroom door opens and I feel her shift off the bed. "Is everything ok?" Jared's hushed voice drifts over to me, but I know he directed the question to Chloe.
Her response is equally quiet, but I can hear anger in her voice. "What the hell happened to her Jared?"
