"I can't tell you everything right now, but she was attacked last year. A paparazzi slipped past the barrier tonight and confronted her" Jared's hushed voice had me squeeze my eyes shut against the tears that started running down my face again. I hated the control that this situation still had over me, I thought I was stronger.
I was very careful not to move as I listened to the exchange, I didn't want him to know I was listening and come over to me. "Someone doesn't act like this just because they were attacked, I want to know what happened."Chloe replied
Jared seemed to ignore her statement, much to my relief. "How Is she doing? I don't know what to do, she won't let me touch her and Shannon got her through this last year. He left upset; he was pretty torn up."
Flinching at the reminder of Shannon, guilt ate at me for lashing out at him. "She's OK. Why am I not surprised at this point that Shannon is involved." She stops talking and the uncomfortable silence permeates the room. "I know what to do. Can I borrow a T-shirt, I'm staying the night." Chloe's response said more than Jared realized. How would she know what to do? She would have to recognize my pain to know...
I hear them pad out of the room quietly, and into our bedroom, and my eyelids start to get heavy. I was so exhausted, felt so dead inside right now that I didn't have the energy to keep them open.
Gasping for air from behind his hand, I fight against his grip. Terror washes over me when I realize that no one can see us. There were spots in front of my eyes and I was getting dizzy. Desperately looking up at the man who had a hold on me, I see amusement and satisfaction written all over his face. I claw at the hand over my mouth, trying to breathe.
I get yanked from the darkness by the sensation of a hand on my head, with a yelp I grab at it, trying to get it off me.
"Hey, its just me Becks. I'm staying for a girls night OK?" Her voice is soft and gentle as she slips under the covers and lays down. I roll over in the bed to look at her, finding her facing me, and the caring smile I see in the dim moonlight is reassuring.
Staring at her, I bite my lip painfully hard against the burning in my throat and eyes. Chloe takes my hand and gently starts massaging it, no prying questions, just silent understanding. Emma and Shayla had been gentle, but they had acted helpless towards me, obviously unsure what to do. Giving Chloe a weak smile, my eyes close again, and I let the soothing sensation lull me back to sleep.
____________
Waking up alone, I wondered if last night was all a dream. The fact that I was in my old bed disagreed with that, as did the rumpled covers on the side of the bed Chloe had slept in. My eyes land on the bedside clock and saw that it was after 10 AM.
With a moan, I flick back the covers and shiver in the cool morning air. The push-up bra I was still wearing and its single shoulder strap, bit painfully into my skin. Rubbing my aching head, I open the bedroom door and wander into the bedroom I shared with Jared. I wasted no time shedding my uncomfortable undergarments.
Standing naked in front of the dresser, I slide open the lower drawer and pull out a pair of my old university sweat pants. Slipping into them, I reach down to grab the matching sweatshirt. Stopping and looking down at it lying folded under my hand, I change my mind and shut the drawer instead. Turning to the closet, I slide open the door and reach in, pulling out Jared's favorite black hoodie. Tugging it on, his familiar smell wraps around me like a hug. With a content sigh, I pull the hood up over my head and leave the room.
Doing a lap of the lower area of the house and finding no one, I make my way to the last place in the house I hadn't checked. Opening the studio door, I find the three people I was expecting, taking up the white couches. Chloe was sitting next to Shannon in a t-shirt and boxer shorts with a cup of coffee in her hands; Jared sat alone not far away. I was reminded again of how Chloe had known what I needed last night, questions filling my brain.
Jared looks up at me and smiles, motioning for me to come over to him, and I walk up to him and sit down on his lap, letting him wrap his arms around me comfortingly. "Good morning Sunshine, feeling better?" I drop my head down onto his shoulder, looking at the concerned faces of the other two people. Nodding my head against him, I feel his heartbeat against me and bury myself further into his arms. "We need to talk about two very hard things, OK Becks?"
"Alright" I reply quietly. Everything was still raw inside me, but the memory that caused it already seemed so far away that I felt stupid for feeling this way.
"First we need to discuss the fact that the trial is coming up very soon, and I called the lawyer to set up a meeting after last night. We need to know how much you can be -- or will need to be -- involved in it."
I watch something dark flash across Shannon's face before he continues talking where Jared left off. "Second, we need to figure out who is talking to the media. It may not even be someone in our group, it could have been a roadie, or someone 'he' talked to. Paparazzi just like to cause strife and the man last night could have been lying" I knew who Shannon was talking about when he referred to the man as 'he'. The guy who assaulted me was out there somewhere wandering around, and could be talking to anyone.
"How do we figure that out?" I ask softly.
Jared growls deep in his chest "Well for one, the lawyer is serving him with a gag-order as we speak; he shouldn't be talking with anyone other than his own lawyer about this. She will find out if it was him"
"And if it wasn't?" Chloe asks, speaking for the first time since I had entered the room.
The grim look on Shannon's face grows deeper. "Then we need to hold a group meeting"
Chloe swears under her breath. "Who else knows? I just found out this morning." She turns to look at me "I'm so sorry this happened to you Becky, no one should go through that"
Jared answers her "Hmm" I can almost feel him counting in his head. "Emma, Shayla, Jamie, Stevie, Tomo, Shannon and I...and anyone they may have spoken to. I would hope everyone was smart enough to keep their mouth shut, I couldn't imagine any of them wanting to hurt Becky."
This time it was Shannon who cursed under his breath. Getting to his feet, he starts pacing back and forth across the room. Running his fingers through his overgrown shaggy hair, he groans in frustration.
"What Shannon?" Jared asks, tensing up.
He stops pacing immediately and looks at Jared, his response hesitant. "I know someone who might..."
