i hate that i love you • reddie

•four•

"i fucking hate you but i love you"

it had been a couple of days since richie and eddie's fight. the tension was strong. eddie had moved his seat in every single class he had with richie.
richie wasn't really sad about it anymore he was more angry. both of their sadness had turned into anger.
the rest of the losers club could see them falling apart.
•
"hey eddie why don't you and richie just talk it out"
ben suggested to eddie smiling.
eddie gave him a death glare as ben's smile faded.
"i don't want to talk to him. don't you understand he said he didn't want to be friends with me anymore"
the losers club sat in silence as eddie sighed and looked back over at richie's table for the 5th time today.
he saw him and parker laughing and having fun. he watched as parker put his hand on richie's thigh.
eddie couldn't take it anymore. he grabbed his lunch tray and stormed out of the cafeteria. the rest of the losers watching in surprise.
eddie practically ran to the nearest bathroom and got in the closest stall.
god it's not a big deal eddie calm down
eddie tried taking a couple deep breaths to calm down. he was so angry at richie, but there was also another feeling for him that eddie couldn't pin point.
he heard someone enter the bathroom and he quickly turned quiet.
once eddie was calm enough he walked out the stall only to be meet with a person.
"oh sorry"
eddie looked ahead to see parker staring at him. eddie's eyes widened. he had never even spoken to parker, but he already didn't like him.
"hey you're eddie right? richie has talked about you"
eddie smiled a bit "he has?"
parker smiled back "yeah"
eddie blushed a little and looked down "good things i hope"
"of course i don't think richie could ever say anything bad about you" parker answered
eddie wasn't even sure if he agreed with that statement. richie probably hated him right now
god eddie you're so stupid
"um thanks but i got to go" eddie slightly smiled
"ok it was nice to meet you eddie" parker smiled brightly
eddie could see why richie liked parker more then him.
•
it was the end of the school day and eddie was just leaving and caught a glance of richie and parker.
eddie sighed wondering how richie could move on so easily but eddie couldn't.
he quickly jumped onto his bike and started riding home.
eddie's mind was racing he didn't know what to do
he didn't know what to do without richie.
richie had it all worked out. found a new best friend and was happy. more happy then he ever was with eddie, and parker is so perfect. way better then eddie i mean why would richie even have wanted to be friends with eddie in the first place. he was just some small stupid weak hypochondriac who can't live with himself. no wonder richie left.
next thing eddie knew he was at his house. he was panting realizing he had got in his head.
he sighed throwing his bike down and waking into his house.
once inside he went to get a glass of water and took a puff of his inhaler.
"you okay eddie bear?"
eddie turned at the sound of his mothers voice
still panting he responded "yeah i'm fine just hot outside"
sonia took a step closer to eddie and grabbed his face
"oh are you alright? did you put on your sun screen? did you drink enough water today? here let me get the water for you."
sonia went to the fridge for water and eddie shut his eyes tired of his mom right now.
"eddie you know you can't be outside long you'll burn and get skin cancer. maybe i'll start driving you to school and picking you up. it's clearly too hot for you to be outside you could have had a heat stroke."
eddie couldn't take it anymore. "OK, mom i get it"
sonia looked over at eddie slightly shocked.
"eddie bear i'm just trying to help you. don't raise your voice at me" sonia frowned
"ok well you are suffocating me right now and i can't deal with it anymore. i'm almost 18 mom." eddie shook his head. he was so tired of everything.
"eddie i don't understand why are acting this way. maybe you haven't had enough water" she handed him the glass of water.
"now go to your room until you have learned to talk to your mother correctly" sonia stated forcibly.
eddie looked at her then scoffed marching up the stairs.
he got to his room then locked the door. he placed the water down on his night stand and sat on the ground against his bed. he put his head in his hands and pulled his knees to his chest.
he didn't know how to deal with all this. ever since the fight with richie he hasn't know what to do.
eddie's been floating at sea with no guide. no where to go.
normally at times like this eddie would go to richie but he didn't have that option anymore. no where to run.
eddie knew he couldn't run forever and he would have to fix his problems with richie, but clearly both of them loved running from each other.
eddie acted on impulse. he grabbed his fanny pack and starting to unlock his window. once it was open he looked back into his room before jumping.
eddie had never snuck out before or jumped out his window. the fall was a little harsh but he managed to catch himself.
eddie quickly grabbed his bike off the ground and jumped on it.
he didn't know why but he starting biking towards richie's house.
he had no idea why or what he would even say. richie and him haven't spoken in nearly a week, but eddie didn't know what else to do or who else to go to.
the wind was blowing and the sun was setting. eddie felt like he could finally breathe. he had been so worried about everything and he just needed to breathe.
he took in the beautiful sunset and a slight smile brushed across his face.
when eddie realized he was at richie's house he didn't know what to do.
he thought he needed rich but on the bike ride over he realized he didn't.
maybe eddie could move on.
maybe
eddie stared at the house specifically richie's window. he pondered talking to richie, but he had no idea what he would say.
eddie just decided to head home. maybe he would get the courage to talk to richie another day.
"eddie?"