The Big Reveal

Chapter 86 | Farewell

[1 month later]

"Day 32,

Hana has still not woken up. Every second is difficult for me to pass. She has been in front of me every day, but I can't talk to her, I can't hear her. Uncle Joon is a wreck, sitting in the hospital all day long; he never went home while Hana lay in the ICU.

Hana's body is no longer having any dysfunctional organs; her heart is fine, and her lungs have been transplanted, but the only thing concerning is her brain. No one knows when she will wake up or even if she will...I want her to come back. I can't lose-"

The pen falls out of my hand, while the tears crowd my eyes. I laid my head on my arms on the table, sobbing badly. This is the only place I can cry as loud as I want to; it's hard pretending to be strong, especially in front of Uncle Joon. I am his only hope now. He is alive because I keep him. He doesn't eat until I feed him, and he doesn't sleep until I sit beside him. He cannot let go of his precious gem, he just cannot. The thoughts make me cry so much, and my tears fall on my diary lying underneath. They are washing away the ink, and I wish it was this easy to let go of the truth.

I miss her. I knew I would when she would move to America, but this is different. I can hold her hands, I can play with her hair, I can kiss her, but I can't talk to her. I cannot ask about where she is, about how hard she is fighting to stay alive. She cannot tell me to stay strong and give me hope to keep holding onto her. I never realized how important communication was until now. Physical presence isn't enough, you need more and that is what I am craving right now; her voice, her laugh, her rants.

I suddenly raise my head when I hear the light knock on the door. Surprised to see uncle Joon standing at my room's door, I cleaned my tears and tried to pretend alright.

"Oh, uncle you are here?"

"I...I thought I should...take a shower, been days."

I stood up and smiled at him. He's so tired, yet he looks so old. I know exactly why he is here. He is avoiding his home. He doesn't want to go there to remember her lively daughter roaming around the house everywhere. It's sad, but I am glad I am here for him.

"Sure. You can take a shower here," I pointed to my bathroom, and he nodded. "I'll go to the hospital now. You can take some rest if you want to." He just looks at the floor, despair all over his face. I make my way towards the door where he is standing and pass by him when he grabs my shoulder. I step back and look at him.

"Jungkook....you should take some rest." He is a father, he knows.

"Ah! No uncle. I am totally fine. And you know I come home sometimes,"

"That doesn't mean you take rest."

Letting out a tiny grin, and hiding the truth, I look around. I don't want him to know.

"Jungkook," he walks near to me, and holds my hand, sandwiching it between his. "I know you always pretend to be fine in front of me when I know you aren't." I wiggle with my lip ring, tears swelling in my eyes. I was losing it.

"You don't eat either, you don't sleep either. Do you see your eyes? Red, tired, sleep-deprived."

"What can I do?" I almost whispered, because my voice was breaking. "Whenever I think of sleeping, I fear if something bad happens and I wake up to something I don't want to?"

He silently pats my shoulder. "I don't want to lose her, Uncle." And there, I lost it. Breaking into a loud sob, I almost kneel. I have never held anything for this long inside me. But before I could sit, Uncle held me against him. My face is somewhere on his chest and I am weeping. He never stops me and I never stop. Only he can understand my pain.