Livin La Vida Bam

Stunt Woman

(A/N: I want to start this off by saying a HUGE thank you for all the love and support on this story, I had honestly never thought this many people would be seeing this let alone enjoying it. I appreciate every single one of you that takes time out of your own day to read my story. Thank you all so much for 4k reads, I love you all so much.)

We had to get up super early to start doing stunts for the day, around 7:30 is when I crawled out of bed to get ready, I threw on a pair of jean shorts with a white playboy bunny on the left pocket and a black skeleton tanktop. I threw on a pair of my DCs and I was out the door before Bam was even awake. I had to be there earlier to get completely used to this whole 'acting' thing and know what was where and who was doing what stunts. 

When I pulled up to the 'set', just a few tents set up in a gated-off park, I saw that only Tremaine, Knoxville, and Dunn were there yet so I pulled Dunn along with me to look at the stunt list. The first name on the list was mine and Bam. My face dropped and I took a deep breath.

"Hey, don't worry about it! It's fun after a while, I promise. And we're drunk like 96% of the time so you won't even feel it!" Dunn there his arm around me and I laughed.
"Easy for you to say, you've been a professional jackass since even before Jackass was actually a thing."
"What do you mean?" He gave me a confused glance.
"We can't forget about CKY, can we?" for a second he looked like a deer in headlights then a huge smile spread across his face.
"you know about CKY!" He started jumping around like a toddler that was just given ice cream. 
"you really think I didn't look up the projects you guys did?" I smiled and laughed a little.

After about an hour all the rest of the boys were now here, besides Bam. I walked away from the group of boys and I called him.

"Hey lover, Are you coming?"
"I don't know, tell Tremaine I may have to sit today out, I think the jetlag took a toll on me. "
"Of course, just stay in bed, I'll be home after the day is over. I love you."
"I love you too y/n"

I hung up and walked back over to the boys.
"Bam's out for the day, he's sick."
"well shit" Knoxville put his hands on his head, "He was at the top for a stunt today too wasn't he?"
Tremaine turned to me and smiled, "No, actually, she is" He pointed at me and then crossed his arms.
"Yup," I sighed, "yup I am." I smiled. "So what even is it going to be?"
in a second Ry was behind me, "you can thank your hubby for this one"
"TO THE BOWLING ALLEY!" Tremaine, Knoxville, and Spike all ran to the van while the rest of us just walked.

"Fuck me, what have I gotten myself into."
"don't worry about it too much Y/n, We have Vodka!" Ehren piped up and made me laugh. 

He most definitely was not kidding, when I climbed into the very back I had bottle after bottle being handed to me. I took a couple swigs of everything before finally tapping out when they were trying to get me to chug the vodka. 

"I love being drunk, but maybe not absolutely hammered on the big screen." I was already slurring my words and all the boys were laughing at me. The drive to the bowling alley took what felt like forever, but we got there eventually. 

When we got inside, Wee man handed me one of Bam's boards.
"Have fun." He let out a little laugh which scared me.
"Alright." My mind instantly went to take the board down the lane, and so I did, but not before Knoxville threw a ball that hit me right in the thigh. I slammed into the pins and curled into a ball.

"Knoxville, you fuckin suck" I crawled out away from the pins and I stood up, now with a huge throbbing pain on the inside of my left thigh. They had been right though and doing it drunk did make it more bearable, s bearable we ended up doing that most of the day, switching between the throwers and the skaters. When that was all said and done, we went back to the park to talk about more ideas for stunts in the movie. 

While the boys were all standing and talking I got a great idea. 
"Hey, I have to grab something from my car, I'll be back. Dunn, could you help me carry something though?"
"yea, sure." Dunn jogged over to me and set his pace to match mine.
"What do you need to grab?"
"oh, nothing besides my taser, I will also need help with something else too." I smirked and we continued into the parking lot. I opened my trunk to reveal a bunch of glitters, saran wrap, and a little can of paint. 
"Dunn, they're going to hate us."

It took about an hour, and I don't know why no one came looking for us, besides Raab who ended up helping and just telling the rest of them that me and Dunn we're talking about some serious stuff. When all was said and done though, both Knoxville and Tremaine's cars looked like a 6-year-old's dream barbie car. There was purple, pink, and white glitter spread all over the seats, dash, and even in the vents. I painted CKY onto the side of Knoxville's car and went over it with orange glitter, and on Tremaine's, I put Gnar Kill and covered that in white glitter. 

"it's a masterpiece Dunn." We both started laughing and high-fived each other. The saran wrap stayed in the car because we had decided that would best be used on another day. I grabbed my taser and we walked all the way back to the boys trying to keep a straight face. 

We stayed there just drinking and laughing, throughout that time we had gotten many tapes of me just being a dick and randomly tasing people, mainly Knoxville. The day ended at about 6 p.m. and we all walked back to the car. I looked at Lance and signaled for him to start recording so he did.

"What the-" Knoxville and Jeff were cut off by Raab, Dunn, and me bursting out laughing.
"I hope you know you guys are not safe anymore" Lance piped up but all three of us were on the ground crying. None of us could breathe through our laughter so we were all red at tomatoes. Knoxville walked up to me and held out his hand, helping me up.

"Well, played y/n" He laughed, and his other arm came from behind his back. Before I could run I felt the shock.
"Ow, FUCK!" I hopped and ran a little seeing Knoxville holding a bright pink taser.
"Gottcha!" Everyone was now wheezing through laughs, and when we all recovered we wrapped up and went home. 

When I walked into the house I could smell white sage burning, but it was quiet. I took my shoes off at the door and walked back to the room, seeing Bam facedown in a pillow snoring.
"Poor baby," I said under my breath as I walked back to the kitchen to start making dinner.

I quickly just made some broccoli alfredo, dishing up a plate for both Bam and me. I made two cups of camomile tea too, just to try to get the bad stuff flushed out of his system. I had everything on the counter and I took one plate and glass into the room. I set it on the TV stand as I walked over to Bam.

"Baby," I shook him a little and he opened his eyes and stretched, "I made dinner and tea for us." I smiled walking back over to grab the plate and mug and handed them both to him once he sat up.
"You're the best" He smiled and gave me a kiss.
"I know" I walked back to the kitchen to grab my food and drink. We sat in bed eating and watching Tv. I got up to take the plates and mugs to the sink, but when I returned to the room Bam was already asleep again. 

"goodnight hunnie" I kissed his forehead and laid on his arm. He wrapped both arms around me and that's how we stayed.