Livin La Vida Bam

Downfall

I got home around 2:30 A.M. since I did drive around a little bit after I dropped off Bam. Right when I got home I passed out again, which was something I was never really able to do unless I was up for more than 24 hours. I guess that's when I should have known it was going to get bad. I knew the text had messed me up a bit psychologically considering my initial reactions of fainting then shattering my phone. I didn't expect this though. 

The next two weeks blurred together, only really sleeping and doing some art when I felt motivated enough. Every once in a while I would hear someone knock on my doo but I just didn't have the energy to leave my house. Two weeks, no phone, just some music, art, and a whole lot of depression. 

I finally decided it was time to leave my pit of a room and go get something to communicate with people again. I threw on a black tank top, some fuzzy cartoon network pants, a black zip-up hoodie, and some big black and green laser osirises. I snagged my keys from off the counter that had been their home for the past 14 days and looked at the clock. 4:17 P.M. It is going to be a long day. I threw my car in drive and quickly went to go get a new phone 

~3 hours later~

I finally got my phone set up with my old number to see texts flooding in. Some from my mom and dad, since they had finally found my note. instead of freaking like I thought they would, they wished me luck and said they hoped id come back to visit sometime. The next texts I saw were from Ryan. 

June 13th: "Wow, really? What's he there for?"

June 16th: "Y/n? Your there"

June 19th: "Hey I'm starting to get a little worried"

June 22nd: "Did you move or something? I haven't seen anyone leave your place in days. We could use a girl around this sausage fest sometimes"

June 25th: "I went to your place and knocked, no one answered. It's been weeks. What happened?"

I looked at them and shed a tear. someone cared, someone noticed. That was a first. I sighed throwing my phone onto the corner of my bed. It was time for some more fresh air and the sun was finally setting. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone, so I decided it was a good idea. I grabbed my element board, my phone, my polaroid camera, and my hippy bag making sure to see I had cigs and earbuds with me. I took my house key off the ring and thread it onto a plain silver chain. I tucked the key into my shirt and locked up the house, closing the door behind me. 

when I walked outside, It was just like the first night I got there. Loud music and probably hundreds of voices I could hear. I smiled slightly, sliding my earbuds into their places and playing "I was all over her". I sat on my stairs pulling out my camera to take a picture of the sunset I snapped a picture and let a single tear roll down my face. I lost my best friend at the age of 14. We were born just months apart and ever since that we did everything together, so every sunset was a gift from him, in my eyes at least. I threw the photo in my bag for it to develop and tossed my board on the ground. I hopped onto it adjusting my feet quickly and just riding to wherever I felt.

After about an hour I stopped at a gas station and grabbed a monster and paid for it, quickly going back to skating and finding photo spots. I felt a buzz from my back pocket but paid it no mind. I was no longer in a rush to reply to people. I went to the skate park and lay on top of the ledge of the half-pipe watching the stars appear in the sky. I unplugged my headphones To start blasting "Crystal" by Stevie Nicks. I have to admit it is a comfort song, and with the scenery, it just fit to make me feel human again.

"And I knew

in the crystalline knowledge of you

drove me through the mountain

through the crystal like a clear water fountain

drove me like a magnet 

to the sea" I closed my eyes singing along to the song feeling alive again. I knew all I needed was a push, but this push took a lot of work so I had to make it worth it by ending the night like this. I smiled when cigarette daydreams came on, laying my bag to the left of me and pulling out my pack. I lit one up smiling 

"You can drive 

all night

looking for the answers in the pouring rain

you wanna find

peace of mind

looking for the answers"  I screamed the lyrics, a bit bothered by how much they had related to myself. 

I sat at the park for hours and finally skated back to the house at 2 A.M. just sitting on the floor leaning against the house when I got there. I unplugged my earbuds letting "Hailie's Song" flow out of my phone speakers. I turned my outside light on and onto red finally tilting my head back and closing my eyes. I could still hear faint music and shouts coming from down the street, but now once again like the first night I was here, There were seven distinct voices a bit louder than the others. Along with the voices were figures, though I really couldn't make out which figure each voice was coming from. I could also then make out a slip-n-slide from their roof into the street. It looked relatively safe with the amount of support that had been thrown under it, but I just knew this was going to be some free frat party-level entertainment. I crossed my arms over my chest when I felt my pocket buzz again. I had completely forgotten about the text from hours beforehand so now was probably a good time to finally see who it was and what they wanted. 

Of course, it was Ryan... and another number?

Ryan:

June 27th, 8:46 p.m.

"Hey, me and the guys are having a party tonight, if you're up for it you should come :)"

June 28th, 2:13 A.M.

"Youre finally alive again huh?" I looked up to see one of the figures now lit up by a phone screen and smiling. I knew at this point there was no getting around it so I collected myself and skated over to them. 

"Holy shit, she's alive!" Bam torted with a small chuckle and I flipped him off with a smile on my face. I gave Ryan a side hug

"Where have you been anyways y/n?" Ryan gave me a caring look and I just acted like I didn't notice. 

"Yea, I just got really busy, living alone isn't easy" I faked a smile. "So what the hell is... this fuckin thing" I motioned to it and scanned it from top to bottom. "Someones going to literally die" I laughed. 

"Well, we were hoping actually" Bam nudged me and Ryan punched his arm.

"This was your stupid idea, leave the girl out of it" 

this remark lit a fire in my soul. I knew Ryan meant nothing bad by it, but come on I can be cool sometimes too. I laid my bag and board on the grass 

"Fuck it, how do I get up there?" Bam looked at me amazed and Ryan had shock written all over his face. 

"see Dunn, the girl wants to do it" Bam stuck out his tongue and guided me to the beginning of this absolute neck breaker of a death trap. 

I looked down at everyone, most people astonished, some people whispering about how I wouldn't do it, and then I did. 

I remember hitting the ground as hard as humanly possible and flying even farther. I stared at the sky processing what had happened for only a second before Bam held his hand out to me laughing. 

"That was the most badass shit I've seen from some newbie"