The Infinite Summer

Chapter 1

Conrad tried his best to control his breathing as he sat at the kitchen island. This should have been a happy day. It was Belly's birthday. It was always one of his favorite days out of the entire summer just because how happy Belly would get eating her mickey mouse pancakes. How her face would light up opening presents. How she would look at him whenever she opened his gift, a slight blush spreading across her cheeks. Whenever she looked at him like that it made him feel like his heart could stop beating but it wouldn't matter. He could live on that look alone for eternity. It was all he needed. She was all he needed.

But this day wasn't like the rest of Belly's birthdays. This summer wasn't like the previous summers. This summer Conrad's mom was dying. Her cancer was back, and she wasn't going to fight it.

Summer was just about to begin when he found out. He'd just gotten back from football practice when he learned his mother's secret. Conrad could hear his parents arguing before he even opened the front door. This was not unusual. It seemed like his parents were always fighting lately. Not to mention the fact that his father had been sleeping in the guest room for weeks now. Soon they'd be like the Conklin's. He would never say this out loud, but Conrad always felt that he, Jeremiah, and his mother would be better off without his asshat of a father. Conrad would be better off without the pressure his father would constantly put on him over football. Jeremiah would be far better off free from the emotional neglect of their father. His mother would certainly be far better off free from the kind of husband who cheated on their wives and constantly mistreated his entire family. It wouldn't matter if he left because summer was fast approaching, which meant so were the Conklins. Laurel, Steven, Belly. Soon his real family would be together again. All the people he loved under one roof again. Just like every summer before.

Conrad's plan was simple. He would sneak in and silently go up the steps to his room where he would wait out the storm. He needed to be quiet going up the steps to avoid his father's fire and even more importantly to not make his mother feel bad. Which she always did when they fought in front of him and Jeremiah.

He had just reached the top of the steps when he'd heard it. His mother's cancer was back. His father was leaving, and his mother was dying.

That was all Conrad could think about lately. His sadness that his mother was going to die. His anger that his father left. If Conrad was being honest with himself, he was angry at his mother too for not fighting her cancer this time around. But how was he supposed to talk to his mother about this? How could he tell her to go through all of that pain again? How could he tell Jeremiah that the most important person in their lives was dying? The only thing Conrad could do to ease the pain was to drink and smoke. That was until she got here.

As soon as Conrad saw Belly it was like time stopped. Suddenly nothing else mattered. Suddenly his mother wasn't dying and his father hadn't abandoned them. It was like everything bad in the world fell away. Conrad always knew that his feelings for Belly extended past brotherly love. But he had always thought that it was just because of how no matter what was going on she could always make things better. Whether if he was feeling sad and she would sit by him or if he was already happy it could always get better just by doing something as simple as teaching her how to dance. Because no matter what he was going through Belly could always show up and understand the way he was feeling. Conrad had always known how Belly felt for him. But it wasn't until that moment that Conrad realized just how deep his feelings for her went.

But then that created a whole new series of problems. What if they were to get together and he broke her heart? What if she broke his? What if they broke their family apart? All Conrad could do was continue his streak of alcohol, pot, and acting like a jerk to all the people in the world he loved while he shoved all of his emotions down inside himself.