The Secret Love

How to handle the truth

 I sit, I stand, I lay and while I do all theses things I think. I think hard and long about what to do about this truth. The truth hurts but for some reason when I see her I don't feel hurt, I feel love but not just any kind of love, the kind of love that makes you feel so good inside that when you feel it you don't want to let go. I have to go to school now but something stops me before I go out the door. Was it because I am afraid of having to see Kala's face and not showering her in kisses or was it the big package lying right in front of the door. I grab the yellow package and start to open it and then I pulled out a piece of paper with 4 words on it. I drop the paper in fear. What did that piece of paper say. The paper read "I know your secret." What secret I asked myself but I only had one so it had to be that one. How would anyone know about the secret, the girl secret but then I remembered about three summers ago me and my friend Zoey went out to my lake cabin and stayed for a few days. Zoey had just broke up with her boyfriend and now was looking for some comfort and I sure did give it to her. That night I kissed Zoey in front of my bedroom window. We did not talk after that and then she moved away. I still remember that night like it was yesterday. That's when I finally admitted to myself that I was gay. Gay I thought, gay, I have never did use the word gay. I only said that I liked a girl but never gay.

I thought of ripping up the paper and throwing it into the trash but when I started to rip up the package that's when I saw the name on the package, it was not mine and it was not my mother's but my father's name on it. I was stunned to see the name and then went to school without ripping the package but putting it into my book bag. As I walked into my school building my eyes met hers and by her I mean kayla. I look at her trying not to smile but to give a friendly kind of look . I go to my first class which is not very fun but at the corner of my eye I see her and just at that moment my teacher announces that kayla is transferring to this class. My jaw drops in surprise and I dart out the room. I run into the bathroom and lock myself in a stall. I don't know if I said this but Kayla is kind of a boy-girl. After two or more second I hear someone walk into the bathroom with heavy feet. I look underneath the stall to see the feet of my girl crush, none-other then Kayla. She knocked on the stall door and I did not answer back. She said in a soothing voice "Hey, I know you're in there and everybody is wondering why you ran away like that." I say quickly back " well why does it matter" She says back "because you are everybody's friend and no one wants to see you cry or be hurt." I want to tell her but I don't because if I tell her now it's going to ruin the beautiful moment. I say nothing and think of how I am going to properly handle the situation and not tell my secret. I tell her " well I am fine and thanks for caring, I am just feeling a little,um, under the weather lately." She does not say much but a simple OK and feel better. I talk to myself about how I should handle the truth about her. The truth about me. The truth about us. How do I handle this truth?