Drowning Emotions (Isla Series #5)

22

"Veronica, how do you feel that you're one of the 3% who didn't pass the BAR?"

"Is it true that you and your boyfriend have broken up?"

"Do you have plans on returning for showbiz?"

The reporters have different priorities. I didn't answer any of it. Natuto na ako. Tingin ko rin, wala akong boses dulot ng gabi-gabi na pag-iyak ko dahil sa breakup namin ni Marco.

My gaze was drawn straight to the car as the bodyguards protected me from the media. I tried to be as emotionless as possible, but as soon as I stepped inside the car, I burst into tears.

All my friends passed the BAR. Noong sila nagtatalunan at yakapan habang nag-iiyakan sa kasiyahan, ako tulala sa isang sulok at nakatitig lang sa cellphone. I already concluded that I wasn't going to pass, but it felt surreal when I didn't see my name on the list. Even Fred—who fucking violated lots of law—passed.

I failed the BAR. I lost my boyfriend. I'm pregnant. I didn't know on which part should I sulk on first. Not one was sinking in. Ang bilis ng patak ng oras.

"You really proved me right for never being proud of you," Mom said, very disappointed.

Akala ko ang pagbagsak ko ang masakit na nangyari sa 'kin, may mas sasakit pa pala. I thought comfort was waiting for me when she called me over. Sadly, all I got was more pain.

I secretly swallowed the lump on my throat to not show how affected I was with her words.

"Thank God we're not fully involved in your issues right now on the internet. Nakakahiya ka. Paano naman ang repustayon ng Tito Carlos mo sa mga clients niya kung nadamay siya? You're really a disappointment in my life. Hindi ka ba nag-iisip? My goodness! Now I know why you failed!" pagpapatuloy niya.

"I'm not your only daughter who's a disappointment." Tinuro ko si Lianna, pinapaalala na dalawa kaming palpak.

"What did I do?" Lianna raised a brow.

"You didn't finish law school. Tunay na anak ka pa ni Tito Carlos. Mas nakakahiya, don't you think?" The way I said those words sounded rude but right now, I don't even think I care about what she would feel.

They never cared about my problems or acted like they were my family. So why will I feel obligated to give them what I never received from them? They had no sympathy for me, so why should I have it for them?

Hindi ko alam paanong nangyari pero pinagsasampal na lang ako bigla ni Mom at sinasabihan ng masasamang salita. "You're such a disgrace! Wala ka talagang pinag-iba kay Lennon! Mga walang utang na loob! Malas kayo sa buhay ko!" Tinulak niya 'ko nang malakas kaya napaupo ako sa sahig.

I shrieked, quickly hugging my tummy to protect it. It was my priority. Mom didn't know I was pregnant. I wonder if she knew, will she still push me? Surely, yes.

"Ica!" Alonzo shouted.

Lianna was terrified as she watched Mom grab my hair and drag me across the living room floor. I screamed and tried to break free from her grip. Pinigilan siya ni Lonzo.

"Mom, stop it! Huwag mong saktan si Ica! Tama na!"

Huminga ako nang malalim. Nanginig ako sa takot habang niyayakap ang sarili. Medyo masakit ang pagkakatama ng pwet ko sa sahig pero ang hinihiling ko lang ay hindi mapaano ang anak ko.

"How dare she speak that way to me and your sister! Huwag mo iyan ipagtaggol! Si Lianna ang kapatid mo!" Mom was fuming mad.

"Here, let me help you." Lianna offered a hand to me. Surely, doubt was in my eyes because she sighed and slowly knelt in front of me to get my arm, inaalalayan akong tumayo.