la vie continue - life goes on
ive been having a hard time recently
since my last entry to sum it all up i have:
1- started high school
2- gotten my phone back
3- had countless "conversations" with my dad and stepmom
4- stopped living with my dad
5- stopped talking to him period
before today (christmas) the last time i had heard from him he was asking for my apple id password after basically shutting my entire phone off. today at like 8 in the morning he had the audacity to text my mom to tell her to "wish *insert my name here* a marry christmas from all of us."
and yes i am completely aware of the misspell, that is how he wrote it, not an error on my part. anyways it got me to thinking about them which i havent really been able to do because of the stress of my first finals week of high school, i used my cousins phone to look at their tiktoks and they seem happy, i only saw like two of them before she had to leave though so it wasn't as informational as you would think. i found my old stepmom's tiktok as well, i didn't look at it but i saw her, she seems okay
its painful to think about what could have been if my parents hadn't had me so young or if they were "normal" and were together, becasue then maybe my life would have been easier. but life isn't made to be easy, you're made to struggle, you're given the gifts to help you along the way, so i leave you with my daily affirmation since october, you cant change the past, but right now is a gift, that is why it is called the present (shout out to winnie the pooh for 1/2 of that one)
<3
