dysphoria

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she asked me who i was.

i answered with my name.


the name given to me

the day i first breath,

the day my screams tore down

a white envelope.

the one i always responded to.

the name my lovers whispered.

the name which defines me

and only me. i curse my name.


why must it be so sour?

why does my name

- no other one, just mine –

taste so much like cyanide?


why must it scrape my throat, pierce my tongue

and poison my yarn?


when i utter it, i'm a liar.

but if i don't, who am i? 

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