The next day at lunch DJ told me that he wanted to talk to me but not at school. He wanted to meet at either my house or his.
Zane: Hey so whose house are we meeting @?- 3:43 PM
DJ: That’s up to you. - 3:45 PM
Zane: Okay let’s just go to my place - 3:46 PM
DJ: Alright be I’ll be there in a few minutes. Holly is going to drive me. - 3:48 PM
A while later his sister’s car pulled up into my driveway and he knocked on the door.
“Hey.” I greeted him.
“Hi.” He said.
“I think we should go upstairs.”
“Okay.” He said as we walked up the stairs into my room and closed the door.
“So what do you want to talk about?” I asked DJ.
“Don’t act dumb, you know what this is about.”
“I’m sorry I can’t tell you why me and Olive broke up.”
“But you can.”
“I can't, I'm not ready.” I said, looking at my wall.
“Ready for what?”
“Just leave me alone!” I yelled.
“Just talk to me!” He shouted back.
“I can’t.” I said and felt like I was about to cry.
“Zane. You can tell me anything. You know that right.” He said, picking up my chin. I looked at his lips and leaned in. I kissed him long and hard and he kissed me back. It was the best kiss of my life and I felt like he wanted it too. This is what I had wanted for years so why did it feel so wrong? So, I pulled away from him.
“What was that about?” He asked.
“Umm.” I tried to think and find a way out of this.
“I think I understand now.”
“Yeah.”
“So do you like me?”
“I don’t know. Probably.”
“Sooo.” He said. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
“No.” I said. I didn’t know much at the moment but I knew I didn’t want to date him. I couldn’t face all the comments from the guys at school. They’d probably be mean to me constantly.
“Why?” He asked, upset and a little mad.
“Because I can’t take it from everyone. I can’t be myself with these people.”
“I’m myself with all the people at school.”
“You’re more confident than me. You wouldn’t understand.”
“What do you mean?” He asked. I paused for a second thinking should I tell him but something inside of me knew I could tell him.
“When I little I was taught to be anything but gay by my father. Whenever me and my dad would see a gay couple or the conversation brought up gay people he always said it was wrong. My mom was never around when he said these things until I think once I put on my mom’s lipstick when I was about six. My dad yelled at me, hit me and told me I wasn’t a real man for doing that. He kept on yelling at me until my mom got home. Then my parents got into an argument about it. My mom said I could wear it and I was only a kid but my dad had different opinions. I cried myself to sleep that night and the next day my mom came into my room and told me my dad was drunk that night and wasn’t thinking right so I never wore anything remotely feminine and pretended to have crushes on girls and date girls even when it was killing me.” I explained. “So I’m sorry but I can’t be with you.” Then I walked out of the room.
YOU ARE READING
Two Best Friends
General FictionA story of male teen, Zane Patterson who questions his sexuality with the help of his best friends. Can he conquer his bullies and past trauma to save his relationships? TRIGGRR WARNING for: F-Slur used, Depression, suicide, Self-harm, Abuse, Bullyi...
