How Can I Not Hate You?

9

She got out of the bathroom. She went to the bed and tried to take away their mistake by kissing him fondly and deeply and for a pretty long time until,
-Well this is sure something new, where is that little girl who wanted to clean instead? Tim said.
-She's gone wild, Cath added getting closer to him.
She was kissing his chest, slowly getting further and further down. Kissing his penis just before putting it in her mouth. He was hard in an instant. It was some kind of weird kink she developed over the years. She loved sperm. She loved when a guy came inside her, and she could feel it. That's why she didn't think of asking him to put one on before doing it. Normally she was on the pill, but she stopped when she started taking her other meds. Not because of the after effects and mix of the meds or any other chemical reason, it's just that her parents couldn't afford it anymore.
She was giving her all into this blow job, so much that she was wet herself. A river was about to burst. She looked up at him to find a man trying his best to make this moment last. She stopped briefly. And then as a surprise to Tim, slid herself inside him.
-Hmmm, hey doesn't it bother you that we don't wear a condom? Tim said with difficulty, trying to breathe trough each word.
-No, I like it. I like feeling your cum, Cath said
-No but like, are you on the pill and whatnot,
Cath just moaned. She slightly faked it, to avoid the question of course. To pretend that it didn't matter if they didn't wear a condom that no babies could be made from this marvellous act of sex they were living.
-Cath, Tim said worried.
He flipped over her, and pulled out.
-Cath, what did we say about pretending?
-I don't know, Tim! I don't know! Cath said...loudly, Why don't you reappear to me again how it is a toxic behaviour, how it's bad and then kiss me again and then fuck me again, just keep on going with the mixed signals just so that everything is super clear!
-Don't you put this on me! This is some serious shit! We cannot afford a baby for a kink! Let's go to the drug store, I'll buy you a plan B.
-No.
-What do you mean?
-No, you are not going to have some withhold over my body.
-Come on! It's not like you want a child!
-And what if I wanted one? Would it even matter to you?
-Cath, call down you are being ridiculous
-Of course, because if a woman doesn't have the same opinion has a man she must be crazy?
-Isn't like plan B a progressive and feminist thing?
-Only if the woman has the choice.
Tim was not some man who thought he could decide whatever what going on with the kody of a woman. He was just really worried. At the start, it thought it was some fun game, that she was playing the hurt woman. But now he actually thought she was hurt, he was starting to see in her eyes that having his baby wouldn't be as much as a curse as not having it. He was stressing and his head was spinning, because he didn't know if he wanted to kiss her and make sure she had a child from them or run away as fast as he could. But he was far too tired to run. Run away. Again. Pretending again. Being the object of hatred from all the people that revolved around him. Cath had a way to make him feel like a human being, not a robot who could do all the task you asked for.
-Tim relax, Cath said seeing Tim's nervous eyes, km on the pill.
Cath didn't feel the same it would look like. It would look like, the only thing she could seem to do with him was running. Because her whole life she stood still. Between the four walls of her bedroom, inventing herself a life trough songs.

These two were never going to bro g out the best in each tiger like they once thought they would. They just transformed when they talked. Once became the opposite of what it was, because this new trilling thing required a new trilling self.  So Cath lied and became everything she hated. Because the object of the hatred she carried for all these years. Everybody she despised was now going to be her, not by choice but only because belong what she liked in other didn't work, being the mirror to your role models made you compare so much, made you feel that no matter how much you tried you would never meet their level of perfection. The one thing that these two always wanted was to prove wrong "nobody's perfect", and maybe each other was the way to that. Maybe it was the way to hell. Maybe it was the way to heaven.

Cath went home that night. She walked all the way to her house alone. She needed time to think and process everything she had lived tonight. She was way pass curfew but at this point who cares. Who cares what happens when you look at yourself in the mirror and hate what you've become. Who cares what happens when you look at your soulmate and love what you've become.