After The Honeymoon

21. Altered Reality

Omar

"She has a definite head bleed," the on-call neurosurgery resident explained to me in the ER while we waited for Madi to be transferred up to the ICU.

Jake who was the senior resident in the ER also added, "But it's not too big. Neither is it pushing her brain across the mid-line."

"Yeah, so we'll hold off on any surgical intervention for now and just observe her. Hopefully, she'll be gain most of her memory back."

Both men knew me. They knew Madi even better. She was the woman whose presence left a lasting impression on everyone she encountered. Yet, the reassurance they gave me seemed as hollow as her gaze when she saw sights or met people she should have recognized in an instant.

It wasn't like I couldn't read the MRI images of her brain myself. I knew that Allah had greatly protected her during her accident and things could have been so much worse. But I didn't have to look at images on a computer screen to know that the concussion she had was severe enough to cause lasting damage.

That was something I would now need to explain to her parents.

Salman

I could feel Noor's eyes on me ever since we had stepped into the ICU after Madi was transferred here - studying my every move, analyzing my every word. Trying to catch me in that moment before I started to unravel.

She had good reason to be worried. This was the same ICU where Noor had been fighting for her life two years ago. And I lived through a period of my life that still gave me nightmares. Noor was well aware of it.

In the empty waiting room, I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her. "Hey, I am ok. I know you are worrying about me, but don't."

She looked up at me, searching my eyes and face for any signs of a panic attack coming on. "Are you sure? You can go home if you want. I'll stay here till Madi's parents come so Omar is not alone."

"You're the one who is pregnant, Noor. I am not leaving you here alone."

She didn't try to send me home after that. Instead, the two of us sat together, with her head on my shoulder, silently contemplating how far we had come.

Of course, I still worried about her. Not just now, but every other day as well. She was my pregnant wife, after all. Any man in my place would want to protect the most precious part of their life. But that feeling wasn't debilitating.

It was just there.

Instead of constantly trying to fight who I was and my thoughts, I had learned to live with what life had handed to me. Because just like diabetes, and high blood pressure, most mental health disorders were not a curable disease. One can only manage the symptoms, not get rid of them.

A few minutes later, we heard the door to the waiting room open.

"Assalam alaikum Salman Bhai, Noor," Madi's sister's tear-stained face looked at us as she stood in the doorway and sobbed softly. "Where is my sister?"

Noor immediately walked towards her and hugged her, whispering something that I couldn't make out. Behind those two, Ahmed Uncle, Fariha Aunty and brother, Moin also filed into the room. All with despondent faces, probably imagining the worst.

I reached out to shake Ahmed Uncle's hand, but Moin just stood to the side, frowning at his feet. He was Madi's youngest sibling, and generally tended to shy away from most of the family events I had gone to at their place. Right now, though, he looked more angry than shy.