Monday 18th February 2013
Day 1
Well , I just came out about being bisexual to my best friend and I'm just not understanding what's going and it feels weird . After coming out things seem to feel really different . People sitting around me , thoughts in my head of aggression and attacking back as I have a major depression issue. I just hate waking up everyday to go to university . I dont want to join or be part of anything , let alone even study cuz i feel my mind is super blocked and nothing is fitting into it . I really dont know what to do , all im thinking is of suiciding and i hold myself alot from trying to do anything . but most of the time i dont want to hold myself back cuz i dont see any point in continuing . Oh yes , my sister and Beloved best friend ( Emo ) always trying to push me from doing anything but i feel hopeless to an extent . Im overdosing continuously but nothing is happening . its seriously crazy how my life went from really fun and crazy to really aggressive and just unbareable . I try to explain to everyone but all i get from them is " everyone goes through depression at a stage but darling this is not a stage its a state . I just dont know what to do seriously , i feel lost and helpless . I wana run away . from how much ive changed i dont want anything , i just wana go . ive been trying to get a girlfriend ever since i came out , i sent many emails to people that interested me but no reply its seriously annoying its making me feel like i should " drop - out of being bi".
