A Bone to Pick

Mario and Luigi raised their NES Zappers and took aim at John Gotti. The brothers were former employees of his, both working as plumbers for him, and Mario himself was one of Gotti's hitmen. However, times had changed. Due to the coronavirus, the brothers could no longer afford to pay the rent for their New York City apartment, and John Gotti wanted the two dead after Luigi got high on mushrooms and took a shit in his pool. Now, John Gotti had a simple demand: pay him two hundred thousand dollars and buy him a new pool, or die. He had their apartment building surrounded by his gangsters.

Mario and Luigi simply couldn't afford Gotti's demands, but they weren't going to simply face the wall and be executed. No, they were going out in a blaze of glory. Luigi had eaten his last stash of psychedelic mushrooms, and both brothers were armed.

"You can take away our lives but you can't take away our freedom, John Gotti. Pasta la vista," Mario said as he squeezed the orange trigger.

A loud bang echoed throughout the room. John stood like a statue for a moment before collapsing with a three inch hole through his head. He'd been given a reality check through the skull. For a moment, there was silence. The Mario brothers waited in anticipation of what would happen next, and Gotti's bodyguards were stunned at what happened.

"Shit! Gotti's been shot! Fuck!" one of Gotti's bodyguards screamed into a radio.

The two bodyguards reached into their trench coats. Just as they were about to pull out their guns, both were shot down by the Mario brothers. Suddenly, a window shattered, and a fifty caliber bullet whizzed by Luigi's head and flew through a nearby wall. Gotti's snipers had their sights trained on them.

"Mamma fuckin' mia!" Luigi cried.

Then, several mobsters stomped through several doors and windows, armed to the teeth with shotguns and thompsons. They all looked the same, wearing large, black trench coats, black bowler hats, and sunglasses. Just as quickly as they entered they opened fire. Bullets whizzed around the apartment, and the bodies of mobsters fell one by one. Luigi, higher than the voyager one, lept up onto the ceiling and climbed around like a spider monkey, shooting the scalps off the heads of the mobsters. Mario used his keen eyes and laser-like precision to execute his targets in swift succession, for each shot he fired, a mobster lost his life.

However, the brothers were still quickly overwhelmed. Whilst they were much more competent marksmen, there were far too many foes for them to fight. The two retreated into a bathroom and prepared their last stand. They had locked the door, but it wouldn't hold out long.

"M-Mario, I-I don't-a wanna die!" Luigi said as tears welled up in his eyes

"Well, it's-a too bad, Luigi. Those bastards will never forgetti this spaghetti! At least we get to die like bigoli boys and not like pussies," Mario growled, reloading his Zapper

Then, they heard footsteps behind them. Both brothers whirled around, Zappers drawn. But instead of mobsters, two monsters stood before them. It was Sans and Papyrus, two brothers who had been good friends of Mario and Luigi's since they worked together to smuggle cocaine across the Mexican-American border.

"Hey. Heard ya needed some backup," Sans said, pulling out a glock.

"It is I, the great Papyrus! Shooter of bad guys and fucker of mothers! Nyeh heh heh!" Papyrus proudly boasted as he pumped a shotgun.

"Boy are we glad to see you," Mario replied with a nod

Just as Mario turned back the bathroom door collapsed. Immediately, Papyrus fired his shotgun, turning the first mobster's head into nothing more than red mist. Mario dispatched the next three mobsters in quick succession, having killed all three of them before any of their bodies fell to the floor. Luigi leapt forward at a mobster, using his crackhead energy to rally him into a fury so great that he clawed the mobster to death with his fingernails. Finally, Sans unleashed a flurry of bullets from his pistol, striking down several mobsters.