Chan - After The Rain

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They say love appears like raindrops tap, tap, tapping on the roof of your heart. The incessant pattering prompts you to open the door and greet the new stranger out of curiosity, before inevitably letting them in. Unexpected but not unwelcome.

Rain. It falls down the sides of the bus stop in pouring sheets, closing you off on both ends like the inside of a waterfall. Subconsciously, you step further in until you bump into his arm. But instead of scurrying and hiding away, you stay where you are.

Rain. It drips down the glass walls encasing both your solitary frames as if shielding you off from the rest of the world, and then continues to collect itself in a pool around your feet.

The abrupt contact makes Chan giggle in the way he does whenever he witnesses something adorable. Undoubtedly, it's accompanied by a smile that reveals a twin pair of dimples on either side, his eyes warm and crinkled in crescent shapes as they return your gaze with such endearment.

Rain, often times appearing with no prior warning, no indication of when it might arrive before dousing its misfortunate inhabitants for an indefinite time.

A few months ago, you would have shied away from his proximity, frantic, unsure of where to look, what to say, where to put your hands. But just like how rain eventually evaporates in continual heat, soon too did the icy layers of your walls melt in his company. None of these thoughts occupy your mind any longer, for all you could think about now was how you wanted to run your hands through the damp, dark curls under his beanie and huddle in close under a blanket.

How long did it take before your uncertainty and unease were supplanted by sheer adoration? What had changed in that span of time before you were undoubtedly head over heels for him?

You didn't know. And frankly, you couldn't care less than how much you cared to ask in what ways water nourished you. You just know that it did. You just know that there isn't anything you wouldn't do for him just to keep that smile on his face.

And right now, you're certain that if time were frozen forever, you would be perfectly content as is. You could remain by his side caught in an eternal rainstorm and not have a single complaint.

Chan grabs your cold hands and entwine them in his, stuffing them in the pockets of his jacket. His familiar thumbs trace circles on your skin as if to draw infinity in the palm of your hand. Wordlessly, he pulls you in closer until you could feel his breath falling on your cheeks.

Against all odds, you were warm.

And it was moments like these where you catch yourself falling, like a raindrop in the sky, that give you a better clue as to how this all came to be. His silent gestures and unspoken words.

Just like minutes ago when the first drizzle came down on the two of you taking a walk. The first thing Chan did upon realizing there was no umbrella or building in sight was to throw his jacket on you and squeeze in under the little coverage it offered. As he urged you along the sidewalk, you had laughed until your stomach hurt because nothing could ever cover those broad shoulders of his, the notes of your laughter rising and drowning amongst the pelting rain.

Oh rain, how it always finds a way to seep into all the little cracks and crevices.

You let your head rest on his chest, smiling at the recollection. From where your nose is buried in the folds of his shirt, you could smell traces of jasmine and vanilla. The combination brings you back to a certain summer day that very much contrasts this one.

How strange it was for a bright summer day to have delivered such heartbreaking news to you. You had wept under a jasmine tree where you thought no one could hear. That is, until you heard footsteps stop in front of you and opened your teary eyes to find a hand offering you vanilla ice cream. He'd said and done nothing the entire time you ate away at your cone, save for handing you a tissue when it looked like you needed it.

How strange it was that just the sight of Chan could bring your stream of tears to an end and lessen the heaviness in your heart. In hindsight, maybe it shouldn't have been. You should have known better than to hide from him. Chan is someone who always knows.

Maybe if you ask him right now, he would know what it is that made your heart beat so tenderly these days, what label to give the unfamiliar contentment that somehow found a way to nestle in your chest like a snuggling kitten, as if there was nothing in the world that could make it tremble in fear.

Nothing but one.

You lift your chin to peer into his eyes the way you've done so many times it was practically a habit. Your lips barely touch, but it was close enough that he could feel your bottom lip quiver.

I don't want to lose you.

There was little more you wanted to confess to him than this.

Yes, rain. The rain that ultimately adds up to an ocean so vast that it would never deplete in a single lifetime. Love is one and the same.

Gently, almost as if for the first time, you kissed him. The way you squeezed his hands inside his pockets and the crashing of your lips were all you need to say everything you couldn't spell out to him.

I love you. Please stay with me.

It turns out you didn't have to ask him after all. You've always known the answer, but it wasn't until this very moment that your affections were affirmed.

You knew, and you were reminded time and time again whenever your phone pings with one of his incoming texts, whenever you hear his drowsy voice first thing in the morning, whenever you nuzzle your head in the crook of his neck as if that spot was specifically made for you.

Chan makes you feel whole, filled to the brim so that you would never have to know emptiness again.

Rain. How many times had you taken it for granted until it was chased away by the sun. You could still smell it off the pavement when you break away from the kiss. He flashes you that captivating smile you've grown to call home to, and that was all the reply you need to know he felt the same.

After the rain, the storm clouds brighten and begin to part, making way for new rays of sunshine to dawn on you, new epiphanies, and new beginnings. You hold all of these in the palms of your joined hands as the pair of you board the arriving bus.

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