Never To Late

Prologue

Ryana POV

I'm not one to be all sappy and in my feelings and shit.

I've learned at a young age showing such emotions represents vulnerability.

So when I'm around my siblings I tend to give them hard love rather than the soft shit most girls are into.

Don't get me wrong it's not bad to show that sappy lovey dovey stuff, just that it's harder for some people to show said emotions when they've grown up in environment where being tough is all they've known.

Like me.

When you grow up with an absent father and a mother who became a mother at eighteen and practically was a kid raising other kids, it sorta fucks you up and hence forth you experience trauma, unresolved childhood issues, and last but not least parental issues.

Or to simplify, mommy and daddy issues.

Don't get me wrong I love my mother to pieces but in all honesty she should've never gone through with a pregnancy at eighteen knowing damn well she was unfit to be a mother at the time.

But I guess that's what happens when you think your in love...... with a forty year old man old enough to be you father.

Yup, you lot guessed it. Not only is my father a deadbeat but he also practically preyed on mother.

Yes, I know disgusting right. But you have to remember my parents met in the nineties and lived in Africa so age differences like these were actually pretty common and normal.

But we'll come back to my parents and their issues, for now we'll focus on the aftermath of their issues.

Me.

My mom thinks I have anger problems and in need of an anger management class. When in all honesty that's not the case. When I'm at school I'm able to cool my temper just ask my friends I'm the most chillest and non-violent person there. I have no beef with anyone and I don't plan to start beef. To them I'm kind, caring, thoughtful, and compassionate in everything I do.

But that's just all bullshit.

I'm actually really good at putting on facades. I have a different personality for my friends and the public eye whereas to my family I'm a stone cold hard bitch.

My brothers words not mine.

Point is everyone has a facade and everyone is two-faced I mean we have to be right. Because there's just no way everyone can confidently say they act one way but make exceptions to other people and act a different way.

Like no my guy, that shit is called a facade. You lot know it-I know it-so let's not lie about it anymore yeah.

I know I sound like a jackass and a bitch but it's the truth. Which I guess makes it why I'm so 'fascinated' by my mom's new boyfriend, Ryan.

Ryan is your average white male. He's pretty tall standing at a resounding 6'4-which is quite impressive really-he's got the curly brown hair-not a perm mind you-dark brown eyes-with an odd sparkle in them-and he's pretty muscular with the build of an NFL player since he used to be play in high school. He's quite good looking actually-surprised my mother pulled him though.

But Ryan had a facade and I know that for a fact. The man is nice-too nice for a regular colonizer-and I'm not just saying that because he treats my mother well but because Ryan has been trying really damn hard to interact with my siblings and and get a nice relationship going. See my younger siblings all like Ryan they are pretty chill with him but that's mostly because Ryan's sort of a pushover so my siblings take advantage to that.

My older brother doesn't care about Ryan really I mean he's eighteen and has moved out to college in another state for basketball and only visits during holidays. He okay with Ryan as long as he treats my mom well, makes her happy, and doesn't hurt her. But lately I've noticed Ryan and him have been getting closer and it's getting a little concerning on my part.

Personally I'm not saying I loathe their relationship just wondering how you can just completely go with the flow and trust someone so effortlessly. But then again I guess this is where my trust issues come in.

I don't trust Ryan.

Simple. Just like that, I don't trust the guy. He's too fucking suspicious and it irks me so damn much because how can a person be so nice and levelheaded and not gone through any trauma. At least once in your lifetime you have to go through trauma it's just human nature.

But unless you are a Ryan, trauma is nonexistent.

He's a pretty lucky guy not having to go through trauma however he's got demons that's he's hiding and I'm making it my job to find this said demons and protect my family from them.

Because if there's anything I learned in life it's that its never to late to smell the bullshit of others people facade.

•••••

A lil thought chapter.

Don't know how far I will get with this book it's just kind of a spur of the moment Idea.

Let's hope I actually finish it.