Crying in the silence without you

Jen, a cute name they've told me as I signed into the hospital. I'm Jen Blaine, 16 and I have lung cancer. The doctors have been trying to save me for years, to no avail. I love to play games. I wonder if they would let me have a gaming console in my room. I'll ask tonight when Dr. Marcia comes. A beautiful lady, she is, long black hair, golden eyes, and a slim figure. I slowly fall asleep, falling into the abyss.

I wake up to Doctor Marcia coming into my room. "Hello Jen, have you been feeling well?" I didn't have the guts to tell her that everything has been hurting and I can no longer eat.

"Yes, I've been feeling a bit better" I had to force a smile, while I wanted to say what was truly on my mind.

"that's amazing, hopefully it stays like that." She seems so hopeful, I don't want to break her hope.

"So Dr.Marcia do you think I could get a gaming console in here?" I try to swiftly change the subject, and maybe the fact that I felt better would sway her.

"Well, Not in here, but I could get them to hook one into your brain... sorta a virtual reality." The look of hope I was okay was too much. I kept my fake smile and she gave in to it.

"That would be amazing!" I smiled and talked as if I had no worries.

"I'll ask about it to see if they can." I love Dr. Marcia.

"Thank you so much doctor Marcia." She looks in my eyes and I know she isn't confident the procedure would be safe.

I woke up in the pure darkness, they said they would put the console in me tomorrow it would be a two-hour procedure. I'm excited yet very scared. Maybe I'll be able to meet some friends online. Probably not, no one wants to be friends with a sick girl in the hospital, plus I'm from Iowa no one is ever from here. But no one needs to know those details. I can be friends with people and they don't need to know they can never meet me. I've been in the hospital for 5 years, they didn't use to keep me full time. I've gotten worse the past few months so they started keeping me in. I haven't seen too many people, seeing as I am from an orphanage and no one knew me too well. In reality, I should be sad about having no one but I am happy to be away from Ms.Lo the mean orphanage keeper. She was a pretty lady with a cold heart. I wish I could take over the orphanage one day and help those kids. They deserve good homes and Ms. Lo didn't let people adopt anymore. I was sad for those poor twins that came in before I left. They had brown hair, the girl always had her hair in pigtails, and the boy had most of it cut short but the top. They had no one, I'm trying to remember their names, are they Jas and James? Yes, that's it, they were 4 years old. They could speak pretty well and were so nice. I miss them, they tried to make Ms.Lo happy and talk nicely. It never worked. The kids there were all so nice and happy, there were only 6 others. There were 9 kids counting me. They all deserve the best, Jill was 5, Mai was 7, Noah was 7, Will was 5, Sara was 6, and Liam was 9. I barely notice I'm falling asleep while thinking of home.

The day started early, the procedure started at 6 am but I got put under anesthesia. All I can remember is this strange doctor walking in, then they gave me the meds and I was out. It's now 8:30 and I'm laying in bed trying to figure out how the thing works. Dr.Marcia walks in, "Hello, are you trying to figure out the console?" She asks, probably thinking I'm an idiot.

"Yes, but I can't turn it on." I really hope she can help as I need to escape.

"oh here" She walks over to me and moves my hair from behind my ear. Then she presses a button or something.

"There we go it's on and you can play." I close my eyes. I know I can't open them again after this until I log off. I open my eyes and I'm in a game. It's some RPG but I don't know which one. I can choose what my character looks like, so I made it like me, but with some minor changes. Red hair, Green eyes, shorter, slim, and most importantly not in a hospital. I normally am short and have red hair. I don't have green eyes, but blue, I'm not the slimmest and I live in the hospital. Some of me isn't the most truthful, but it's close. I'm not the closest to my character, unlike some people who made completely themselves.