Tier 1 (most accepted, considered 'sexy'): cock, dick.
Tier 2 (generally accepted): length, manhood, member, shaft.
Tier 3 (clinical, too formal, but not too cheesy): groin, penis, phallus.
Tier 4 (cheesy, barely acceptable): [insert name] jr., dong, junk, knob, prick, rod, tool, wand, wood.
Tier 5 (ridiculous, unacceptable, pls dont): anything to do with beer cans, baby-maker, Bishop, choad, Conger, donger, dragon root, fuckwand, fun stick, hog, Johnson, Jimmy, lap rocket, little [blank/name], love muscle/rod/stick, meat stick, one-eyed [anything], piston, private eye, schlong, trouser snake, wiener, winkie.
Tier 6 (you're literally a fourth grader..): baby arm, baloney pony, beaver basher, beef whistle, custard launcher, dude piston, flesh flute, heat-seeking moisture missile, krull the warrior king, Luigi, Mayo shooting hotdog gun, meter long king Kong dong, pig skin bus, piss Weasley, purple-headed yogurt flinger, purple-helmeted warrior of love, schlong dongadoodle, single barreled pump action bollocking, spawn hammer, steamin' semen truck, tan banana, thunderstorm, wang doodle, whoopie stick, Wing wang doodle, yogurt shotgun.
