My Cowboy Lover

Rocky Trails

"Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't."

"Easy boy," I said, slowly raising my hand for the stallion to sniff. But he didn't. He reared up on his back legs, striking out and snorting at me. But I didn't budge or show fear, even though he scared the shit out of me. I'm pretty sure I brought home the wrong white stallion. But honestly, how many white stallions are there? Maybe I'm crazy and the whole thing was a big fuck up. Frustrated, I let out a huff and left the stallion standing in the pasture. I angrily limped towards the house, already over today and it's only noon.

The last couple months have been the hardest months of my life. Literally re-learning everything. Sure, I can walk, but I walk with a limp now due to some nerve damage or some bullshit. And I occasionally loose my balance and fall down, which makes Steven freak out and follow me around all day. I have a tremor in my left hand, making some things more difficult, and I am now blind in my right eye, but the doctors say that some exploratory surgery should be able to fix it. I haven't been on a horse in 7 months, since the day I died. Literally. But through all the bad things, there is my Steven. My strength and guidance. He never failed to take my to my physical therapy and he never failed to make the hard days just a little easier. Without him, I would not be here today.

"Hey baby, how did it go?" He asked as soon as I walked in the door, curious about any progress with the stallion.

I slammed the halter down on the kitchen table and limped off to our bathroom for a hot shower, never saying a word.

"That good huh," he mumbled. I know he was trying to be sneaky, but I heard his footsteps following me to the bedroom, sitting on the edge of our bed. It still makes him nervous when I shower alone, "just in case I fall". I fumbled with the button of my blue jeans but the damn shake in my hand made it hard, but I finally got it. Pushing my jeans down to my ankles, I lifted my bad leg, pulling my foot out, then I braced myself for the other side. I picked my good leg up and sure as shit, I lost my balance and my back smacked against the tile floor, my head missing the tub by inches. I couldn't help the sobs that came from deep within my chest. No sooner than I hit the ground, I felt Steven's strong arms lift me up. He finished pulling my jeans off and continued the process, turned on the hot water and helped me in, never saying a word. He knew better. If something hurt, I would tell him. I got tired of constantly being asked if I'm ok real fast. I let the hot water fall from the top of my head, through my now shoulder length hair, all the way down to my feet. I had to cut my hair after my brain surgery. My once waist long hair now touches the tops of my shoulders. I hate it.

Steven POV:

She's broken. She's lost her purpose. She's lost her light. Everything she lives for, she can't do. My sweet, beautiful Rae, is a woman who lost it all. Though she is making slow progress, it's not good enough for her. No matter what I do or say, she doesn't believe that there is still better things ahead of her. I hear her turn off the water, so I go to help her out. I know it drives her crazy, but I'll be damned if she hurts herself again on my watch.

"Steven," she began to try and protest me but I stopped her in her tracks.

"Goddamn it Rae! Just let me fucking help you! I'm not doing all of this to make you feel weak or unable. I'm doing this to help you! I'm doing this because I fucking watched you die in that ambulance and I will be damned if I let that happen again. You are progressing so much, Rae. And I know, it's not at the pace that you want it to be, but the doctors told you, it is going to take a long time for you to get back to your normal self. So please, stop arguing with me and just let me fucking help you!" I accidentally lost my temper and found myself yelling at her. But I couldn't stop until I saw the tears welling in her eyes as she wrapped the towel I handed her around herself and braced herself against me as she stepped out of the shower. "I'm so sorry, Rae. I didn't mean to yell at you," I said, pulling her into me, not caring that her wet hair was soaking my shirt. For the first time in 7 long months, she held onto me like she actually enjoyed being in my arms. For the first time, she looked up at me and puckered those sexy little lips at me, asking me to kiss her. For the first time in 7 long months, I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

"Baby, I love you. And I want you, now," she said between kisses. And so I gladly obliged. She hasn't let me intimately touch her since the accident. I laid her down on the bed and gently placed myself on top of her, all of a sudden very aware of how nervous I am. But once we got started, all the nerves were replaced by ecstasy. Our love making went all throughout the day and into the night with only brief breaks in between.

"Steven, I love you so much. I haven't told you thank you for everything you're doing for me throughout this whole mess we call my life. I've been so obsessed with everything that's wrong with me, that I haven't given any thought to the good things. I'm alive, I'm not hooked up to any machines that are living for me, I can walk, I can function and I have you. Most guys would have left a long time ago rather than have to take care of someone like this. And for that I will always be grateful and I will always owe you," she said, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes.

"Rae, you don't owe me anything. I'm not doing all of this to get anything out of it. I'm doing it because I love you and I wouldn't have it any other way," I said, pulling her closer to me, letting her rest her head on my chest. "I know things have been rough, for both of us, but it will get easier. Besides, the Finals are coming up and what kind of world champions would we be if we didn't make an appearance?" I said, petting her hair.

"I love you so much. Without you, I would be nothing." She said, falling asleep. I held her all night long, silent tears stinging my eyes when I thought about all the things we have been through and all the things we have over come. I pulled open my nightstand drawer and reached all the way in the back and pulled out the black velvet box that held the 10 carat, square cut diamond with a halo and a diamond encrusted band that I was going to propose to Rae with. Very, very soon.

---------------------------
Holy smokes!!! A 10 carat diamond!?!?!? I'm so jealous! Is anyone else feeling super bad for our poor Rae? She's been through so much! But she's such a trooper! She's got this!!!!!

I love you all so much!!!
As usual,
VOTE and COMMENT

Love, Savie ❤