The Deceased

Twenty Five

After changing out of my sweats and hoodie to a plain but pretty white summer dress, me and the boys enter the garden hand in hand.

From a outside perspective this would look like the beginning of a cult murder scene, but to me it's perfect.

They run off the moment we get to the clearing of the maze like garden that holds a large willow tree with a tire swing attached. "Mama! Come play!" Fall requests with a shout. I laugh and roll my eyes at his already demanding nature just like his fathers, but soon enough he'll realize I don't mess around with attitudes.

"Alright!" I reply, letting him have this one because I know he only means well.

We spend hours swinging, climbing the tree, playing tag and much more till we collapse onto the grass flooring of the wonderful garden. Time is then spent looking at the sky, pointing out shapes of the clouds. A warm breeze blows over us  and caresses the plants around us as the sun has started it's decent to the other side of the world.

"Mama?" Beau asks quietly. I hum in acknowledgment, "will... will you and Daddy and Papa be together forever?" The tone of his voice sends my eyes whipping to him and for the gears to turn in my head.

Can I be with them forever? Will I survive it?

Nothing escapes my mouth, I just lay there staring at his calm expression thinking.

"Yes, we will." I hear from behind us. I sit up quickly and look behind me to see Hero in the entry way of the clearing, a look of distress on his face. The boys instantly pop up and race over to him, nearly tackling him with their excited bodies.

I clear my voice, "uh, yeah. Come on boys, we need to get cleaned up and have dinner." Stumbling I get to my feet and brush myself off.

Fall looks to Beau, "race you!" They both take off eager to win. Those boys are getting so big and fast.

The walk between me and Hero is quiet, "so, Shane leave yet?" I ask hesitantly, wary of his mood.

Hero stops, "what was that?" He stares me dead in the eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I avoid his eyes.

"You know what I'm talking about, Josephine. What Beau asked you, you stopped to think about it," he tilts his head at me, "you lied. You don't want to be with us forever." Hardin deadpans, his green eyes watering.

I close my eyes, "trust me, that's not it. But I don't want to have this conversation now, our sons are waiting for us, we will carry on later." I face him fully. "Till then, you both better act like the happiest most fucking best dads in the world to our sons." I stomp off in front of him, hearing him rush to catch up.

His hand comes around my throat and my back is pulled into his chest, firmly but not painfully. "Oh yes, we will have this conversation later," Hero's voice comes out low and demanding. It surprises
me, I was used to Hardin being the hard ass, not precious little Hero. "Till then, you better be a good girl and be a great mother and think about just what you want to say to us later." He brushes past me.

Asshole.
.
.
.

"We swug on da twire swing and pwayed and looked at cwouds!" Beau tells Hardin excitedly.

"Wow! That's amazing! And you climbed the tree all on your own?" He engages sweetly with the beaming boy.

Fall cuts in, "he did! And did a rweally good job!" He praises his brother with pride.

Hardin ruffles both the boys hair, "I'm so proud of you boys," the boys eyes shine with nothing but happiness. "Time for bed though," Hero gracefully takes over, by now the boys have mostly gotten used to their constant switching. "It's getting a bit late." He stands up and takes the twins on each arm before turning to me, "say goodnight, boys."

"Nwight, mama."

"Night night, ma."

Hero then looks at me, his eyes hardening a bit, "I'll meet you in the room once these two are down for bed."

Silently I nod and stand up, clearing my throat nervously before making my way to our bedroom. One that I have a love hate relationship with.

It only takes Hero ten minutes to get the boys ready for bed and put them down, it baffles me how great he is with them. But it's not enough time for me to get ready for the scolding I'm about to receive. "So." He breaks the silence that has poured over us two minutes ago since his arrival.

"So." I don't look at him, but instead out of the window at the not yet fully dark sky.

"What was that?" Okay let's get straight to it, I guess.

"I didn't mean for it to seem that way out there," I start to explain.

He steps forward, startling me, "yeah? And how was it supposed to seem? Were you preparing to tell them to pack their bags so you can sneak away with them in the middle of the night!-"

"Woah! Woah! Woah! What the fuck?!" I ask in disbelief, honestly having no clue how to react or what to say. "You're fucking mental," I scoff and try to step past him to go to the bathroom.

He grabs my arm and spins me around to face him, "I'm the mental one? You're the one who doesn't know that they change personalities, you killed somebody! And you don't even remember doing it!" Hardin fumes in my face.

I rip my arm from his hold and take a step back, "why do I even continue to try with you? I can never seem to get it right with you, quite frankly- I just want this to be over." I sigh, a tear trickling down my face, "I'm not sure we're meant to be-"

Hardin garbs me, pulling me to him quickly and laying his lips on mine. Silencing me. "Don't talk like that, please, please, please, don't." He begs me.

I close my eyes before speaking, "I think..." I open my eyes and take a deep breath, "we need some time apart." My eyes focus in on his now red ones, "we need to both, learn how to be better with each other. And... and I feel like I don't really know you anymore Hero. I can't stand being here any longer with a mere stranger."

He looks at me as if the air has been knocked from his lungs. "You don't mean that..." he trails off.

I step closer to him, placing my hands on either side of his face, "Hero, Hardin, both of you. Take a moment to think. What good quality time have we spent together? What do I know about you guys being in the mafia? Have we spent anytime just talking, civily-"

"We are now-"

"Hardin." I deadpan. "What we're doing... it's not good for either of us. Especially our boys. They need stable parents who can give them all a parent has to give. And that's not us right now. It won't ever be until we get better. Separately."

And now, that's how I got to where I am now. In a car, driving God knows where, two little boys crying in the back seat wailing for their fathers.

The End.

Note from author:

AHHHHH DONT KILL MEEEEE!

I honestly didn't know I was gonna do this haha.

Comments, thoughts, theories?

You know you love me xoxo,
Zoë