Farewell

Welcome! Yes, I got fully addicted to the Netflix show "Shadow and Bone" and now I had to let it out somehow with a tiny one-shot. Especially Luda intruiges me, which is why I couldn't resist writing something towards her.

I'm unsure if I want to create a full story out of this... maybe a lovestory on how Aleksander and her fell in love with each other? There's a lot I could do :D But for now, enjoy this little chapter!

I should maybe put a little trigger warning on here: death of a child and detailed description of wounds

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There was a bittersweetness in the knowledge when you're not able to go further, to keep wanting to help when the only help possible is to give up.Luda held a hand on the boy's chest, feeling it barely heaving, too many seconds flying in between each breath. His heart was nothing but a desperate flatter, trying to clinge onto the last straw it could grab... though there was nothing to hold onto anymore.

"It... hurts...", the boy's voice was only a raspy gasping, splatters of blood on the corners of his mouth, painting the pale white skin.

"I know, lapushka", her own voice was shaking, though she took a deep breath to keep it under control, to not scare the young Inferni laying on the thin mattress in front of her. She could feel the warm, red liquid leaking under her hand, knowing too well that even closing the wound won't do the trick. He was seen getting stumbled over by a scared horse, breaking not only his rips but also making the splitters pierce through the organs.

Maybe if she would have been at the place of the incidence... if the other Grisha would have put him here faster... Instead of using her power to try forming the bones back in place, Luda, her eyes closed to focus better, let it flow through his nerves, disconnecting the ones responsible for pain, numbing their effect as much as possible. Once she opened her eyes again, the boy's face wasn't grimaced by pain anymore, but it also wasn't calm... He seemed scared, as if he could feel what was about to come over him.

As soon as the brunette realized that she looked around the camp, haptically moving her head from one side to the other.

"Where's Farya?", no answer, no one seemed to hear her through the chaos of wounded Grisha. Again, she called out, this time being heard.

"She's out of reach", a simple reply but for Luda a kick into the stomach. She needed the Heartrender, now more than ever. She could have calmed down the poor boy's heart, to sooth him, take away his fear. The woman's face turned back to the Inferni, her hand now slowly going away from his wound and reaching for his hand. Small and heavy it laid there, as if there was no strength to lift it up himself anymore. There was no use of waiting for the Heartrender and she couldn't leave the boy alone even if there were enough other patients waiting for her help.

"What's your name, little one?"

"T-Tofin"

"Tofin... what a lovely name for such a brave boy", she swallowed heavily, bringing up a soft smile. Keep yourself together, Luda. Do it for him. But the strings around her chest only tightened when she heard him say what she had already guessed.

"I'm... scared"

It was hard to even think about what to answer, to consider if it was good to either allowing him to feel scared or to hope she could take it away. But instead, she did something else.

"Do you know the myth of the Sun Summoner?", to Luda's own surprise, her voice seemed to have stopped shaking, the smile now audible. When the boy shook his head, Luda acted a surprised gasp.

"You should know it! It's one of my favorite stories! Do you want me to tell it to you until you feel better?" It was the least thing she could do, right? To offer him something against the agony. For a moment the boy seemed stricken by the question, not sure how to answer considering the situation he was in.

But then... he nod. The smile on Luda's face grew, though the strings around her chest only pulling tighter.

But she started to explain him the story.

About hope, belief, a new light in the darkness which surrounded the Grisha for way too long now...

And so she talked. And talked. Holding the boy's hand gently between her two hands, her eyes never leaving his face, completely ignoring the painful groans of the other's.

Until...

Luda could hear his last breath, how his eyes became hazy, a slight fog covering his pupils. The already slow heartbeat gone.

He was gone.

Gone from the pain this world had brought upon them.

Free from the endless fight for survival.

At first Luda couldn't take her eyes away from him, her hands squeezing his' tightly... until they started to shake, her eyes getting watery. She could feel her bottom lip shiver, how her jaw clenched. Luda flinched when she felt a hand on her shoulder, making her rip away the face from the view of the lifeless body.

It was another healer, older, her grey hair falling in sweaty strings into her face. She made a slight movement with her head, pointing away from the mattresses. There were no words needed.

Luda knew what she meant.

It was better this way... She needed to catch some fresh air, be ready for the next, wounded Grisha to come. A last time she looked at the boy. Her hand wiping lightly as a feather over his face, closing his eyes as a last gesture she could bare.

"Farewell, Tofin".