Kurtis Gets a Dog

Arguments

Kurtis, Danny, and Drew were in a loving relationship. For many years, they were faithful partners and lovers to each other, and they lived in domestic bliss.

That all ended, however, when Kurtis decided one day that he wanted a puppy.

He approached Danny, who was watching some weird kids show in the living room, and clapped his hands together.

"Danny," he began in a low whine. "Can I get something? I really want something."

Danny looked at him disapprovingly. "What? What is it?"

Kurtis puffed out his bottom lip. He was holding a glass of water in his right hand and dipped the fingers of his left into the water. Then, he carefully and meticulously applied the water below his eyes to make it seem like he was crying.

"I want a dog," Kurtis said plaintively. "Can I please, please get one?"

Danny shook his head. "You know we don't allow that kind of thing in our house. Who put such a ridiculous idea in your head?"

Kurtis dropped to his knees.

Danny sighed. "Fine."

Kurtis looked up hopefully.

"If you shave the mustache," Danny added. He didn't like Kurtis's mustache, not because it was weird or gross, but because it made him seem older than he actually was.

"NO!" Kurtis shouted in anguish. "Just let me get a dog!"

Danny narrowed his eyes. "Are you misbehaving right now, Kurtis? You know what happens to disobedient boys, Kurtis..."

"I don't care!" Kurtis shouted. "I want a dog!"

Danny rose from the couch menacingly. He stretched out one arm to grab the remote, then shut off the TV. The silence stretched out between them, further enhancing the tension which threatened to snap them.

"Kurtis..." Danny said warningly. "Don't make me do it."

Kurtis pouted. "You're so mean sometimes, Danny! If you won't get me a dog, I'll just ask Drew!"

Danny suddenly laughed, but it was a laugh without humor or mirth. Kurtis felt humiliated and degraded at the same time. "What makes you think," he said slowly, lounging on each word like it was a sunny beach in Florida, "that Drew will give you a different answer?"

"Y-you can't stop me," Kurtis stuttered, backing away as Danny approached him. "I'm getting us a dog whether you like it or not!"

Danny's eyes widened, and his pupils dilated slightly, indicating his intent to strike. Kurtis ducked out of the way just in time as Danny pounced at him. He rolled beneath Danny's furious fists and ran to the front door. Danny grabbed a knife from the kitchen and chucked it at Kurtis's leg, but it narrowly missed. By the time Danny had grabbed another knife, Kurtis had already escaped.

"DAMN IT!" Danny hissed. He got down on all fours and sniffed the ground, but Kurtis wasn't wearing his cologne. Danny knew he couldn't track him by scent, but he had a pretty good idea where he was going...

AT DREW'S WORKPLACE

Drew was just starting on a fresh batch of spreadsheets when panicked shouts came from the elevator. He looked up quizzically, the light glinting off his stylish glasses.

"Kurtis?" he asked on instinct alone. Then came along Kurtis, barreling straight through a crowd of co-workers. His face was flushed, and he was breathing heavily.

"Drew!" he shouted. He stopped at Drew's desk and propped himself up with one arm. He looked even more tired than he had last night.

"Kurtis?" Drew asked again. "What are you doing here?"