It's been a few days, three, specifically. No, I haven't eaten, yes I've lost weight, no I haven't told Colby, yes, I'm starving.
I don't even get out of bed and just go onto Instagram looking at all these beautiful models.
I feel the bed dip and I know it's Colby and I just continue scrolling. "Why are you looking at them?" He asks grabbing my waist.
"Don't hurt me" I say quickly, and quietly under my breath. "What?" He asks. "Nothing." I say just over a whisper.
"Baby" he trails off quietly. "What" I say plainly not looking away from my screen. "I've noticed you look skinnier" he says ashamed. "Good" I sigh and go onto TikTok.
"Y/n" he starts getting serious. "What?" I ask getting annoyed. "What's wrong" he asks sitting up. "I'm just not hungry" I put my phone down and lay on my stomach, my head facing away from him.
"Babe. Are you eating?" He asks. "I said I'm not hungry. I'm fine" I close my eyes.
I wasn't fine. I was hungry. I was in pain. I was crying inside constantly. The tears begging to leave me but I refuse.
"Give me a real answer" he grabs my shoulder rolling me over towards him. "...no" I look away. "Babe? Seriously? You've been starving yourself?" He asks sounding guilty.
"I'm not hungry" I lie and again and roll back over. I feel the bed lift up and hear my door shut.
A fall asleep finally but after a half hour I'm woken up again. I smell Colby. "What" I sigh. "Get up" he says blankly and I sit up against my headboard.
I see taco bell in his hands. "I'm not hungry" I go to lay back down but Colby holds me in place. "Yes you are. Now eat" he says handing me food. "I'm not hu-" I'm cut off. "Eat." He stares into my eyes and says with a serious tone.
I sigh and take the food from him. I stare at it for a second but Colby nudges me signalling me to eat and I sigh and take a bite.
It felt so good to finally have food. I looked at Colby for a second and started eating the rest of the food. I sighed and looked down at my stomach feeling ashamed to have done that. "Babe stop overthinking" I sit there with my arms on my stomach.
Colby sits next to me and picks me up placing me on his lap. I look away trying not to make eye contact. Colby holds my chin faced towards his making me look him In the eyes.
" Your beautiful just the way you are" he pulls me in to lay on his chest. I feel tears come down my face, soaking the shoulder of Colby's shirt. "It's ok" he pulls me closer by my waist.
I wrap my arms around his waist and end up falling asleep to Colby rubbing my back with his thumb and feeling his breath down my back.
Eventually we both fall asleep and I have dried tears spread throughout my cheeks.
