The Clown Mime Wars

Supplies were in desperate need of being replenished. Five clowns sat at a table with a map rolled out before them of a nearby mime base.

"Here is where they keep their food," the leader said, pointing with his cigar.

"Are you nuts? That's basically at the heart of their base. We'd never even get close."

The leader slammed his fists down on the table, making everyone jump.

"Damn it, Chester! Pogo died helping us get the map to their base! Do you want his death to be in vain by pussing out when it comes time to help those we swore to protect?!"

The memory flashed before Chester. They were celebrating the fact they managed to steal the map from the mimes. Then Pogo stepped onto an invisible landmine, sending bits of his body all over the place. A single tear rolled down Chester's cheek.

"For Pogo," he whispered.

"For Pogo," the others cheered.

A plan was made. Then the leader radioed their fellow soldiers at nearby bases. Within a month, they were ready to execute the mission. Before they were ready to head it, the leader spoke to his second in command.

"Miko, make sure you take care of things while we're gone."

"I will, Wally."

With a nod, he and the others headed out, piling into their tiny cars. Now, trying to out stealth people for whom silence is their bread and butter is no easy task. Fortunately, the clowns were not without advantages of their own. For one, they were able to create what are called balloon decoys. It's pretty self-explanatory.

These replicas, while appearing human are actually made entirely of rubber. Their purpose is mainly scouting. There were attempts to send in armies of them to take down mime bases. Unfortunately, due to lacking nearly any sort of cognitive awareness of their own beyond basic motor functions, these attempts all ended in disaster. They had to be utilized wisely.

Those on the mission stopped at different points: East, West, South, and North. Wally's stopped at the latter.

"Should we send the replicas out now?" Chester asked him.

"Not yet. That'll only let them know we're here. I'll radio the others first."

Wally turned on his radio.

"This is Red Shoe calling in. Do you all read me?"

"Copy that. This is Blue Shoe standing..."

Loud gunfire sounded over the radio. Wally felt his heart sink.

"Blue shoe," he yelled. "Blue shoe respond."

There was only silence. He attempted radioing the others. There was no response.

"Guys, " Chester croaked out.

They all looked to see mimes who'd come out of hiding with their invisible rifles spewing bullets at them.

"Shit, it's a fucking ambush!" Wally yelled, diving behind the car with the others. "Quick, make some weapons!"

They inflated some balloons and shaped them into assault rifles of their own. Then they began returning fire.

"Thre's too many!" Chester yelled. "We'll be overtaken soon at this rate!"

"Don't worry," Wally responded. "We still got our secret weapons."

"Oh yeah!"

They pulled out cans labeled "Pop Rock Soda" and shook them as hard as they could. The cans shook violently. They threw them at the mimes, resulting in several massive explosions. Mime limbs went flying,