Stupid irondad/spiderson oneshots

Peter parker acts like a spider. Fight me

Peter woke up feeling fuzzy. He was awoken by his louder than necessary alarm at 7Am, and then stood up too quickly, making his vision go spotty and his head spin.
Right, so it was one of those days.

All his instincts screamed at him to stay home, to hide in his nest of blankets and pillows and surround himself with star wars paraphernalia and watch films all day. But alas 'my bones feel fuzzy' wasn't going to get him out of school.
Lethargically, he stumbled out to the bathroom-not being able to motivate himself to brush his teeth he just sloshed some mouthwash in his mouth.

When Peter did come down for breakfast, he was wearing his favorite darth-vader themed hoodie and his comfiest pair of jeans. In his pockets were all the stim toys and trinkets related to his hyperfixation that he could justify bringing in. (He also had some of his iron man themed stuff-not that he would ever let Tony know that)

Peter didn't feel like breakfast, he was hungry of course but there was nothing in the fridge or cupboards that he wanted so he left the house with a breakfast bar in his pocket instead.
Oh shit! Peter thought, realising he had forgotten his headphones. He ran back to the house and grabbed them off the table. Great-now he would have to sprint to catch the train and would probably be late.

The train was loud, smelly and crowded. As expected of a weekday. Peter found a seat, turned his music up and fought off sleep. If he fell asleep he would definitely miss his stop and be even later!

Thankfully midtown was only a few stops away and he escaped the suffocating air of the underground before he had a meltdown.
Absent-mindedly, Peter gnawed on his iron-man chew necklace as he hurried to school.
—---

He was late of course, only by 5 minutes though so in his book he was practically early!

His form tutor gave him a 'look' as he hurried into his form room and shook her head. She was smiling though, so Peter didn't have to panic about another detention.

"Hey pete!" Ned waved Peter over. Peter smiled-if Ned wasn't here today he might have actually died.
"Hm," Peter hummed back, not really feeling like talking right now.
"One of those days?" Ned asked, lowering his voice for Peter, who nodded. He pulled out a small R2D2 themed stress ball and began to fidget with it in an attempt to help him listen to what his tutor was saying.
Feeling the need to crawl onto the ceiling and curl up into a ball, Peter shifted to sit cross-legged on his chair.
This was gonna be a long day..
—--
Luckily Peter's first lesson was chemistry with MJ and Abe. He actually liked chemistry so hoped he would find it easier to concentrate.

He didn't. Peter spent most of the lesson fidgeting and daydreaming. He probably already knew what they were learning about.
Benefits of being a genius he guessed. The teacher asked someone a question, which they didn't reply to. The teacher repeated himself twice before Peter realised he was the one being spoken to.

"Oh um-"
Panicking, peter looked to the board and read over the equation he was asked to balance, quickly doing the maths in his head.
"It's 2Ca + O2 —-> 2CaO sir."

"Correct, try to pay more attention in class please Mr parker."

"Sorry sir." Peter slid down in his chair, face burning. He slid his iron-man chew into his mouth again, and tried to keep his eyes on the board, ignoring how the words jumbled and his mind immediately wandered to who knows where (Peter didn't)

From there until break Peter didn't communicate in anything other than hums and gestures, much preferring to chew on whatever various bits of stationery and doodle on his hand. Thankfully his maths teacher knew Peter could do pythagoras in his sleep and left the teen alone.
—-
When break finally came and Peter's brain still hadn't filtered out the fuzziness, he was content to just sit on the floor in the corner of his form and listen to music. Ned and MJ were sitting on their chairs in front of him, making him feel small and secluded in a good, safe way.
It was weird really. Before the bite Peter was aware that he probably had ADHD and just learnt to live with it but after the bite it combined with his arachnid instincts and its effects multiplied. And the shittiest thing was that normal medication wouldn't even work for him anymore (not that he was diagnosed)

Instead of just needing days to be alone, Peter's combined instincts and ADHD made him want to spin a web, build a nest and chitter rather than speak. Other days it was all he could do to sit still and not climb on the walls and ceilings.
And don't even get him started on his new hatred of menthol,citrus. With that and his sensory issues dialled to eleven school was basically his worst nightmare.
Literally if anyone came near him with a nail file he would shoot them and then himself.
—--
Time was getting away from him as the day dragged on. He thought it was breaktime, but suddenly MJ was dragging him to the lunchroom. Peter realised what was happening, and pulled back. The lunchroom was too loud, too bright with too many pairs of eyes.  He shook his head at MJ, subconsciously chewing on his hoodie strings.
"Mm nn," he shook his head. MJ nodded in understanding.
"Want to hide on the roof with Ned whilst I get you two losers pizza?"
Peter hummed in affirmation, as Ned took his hand and led Peter up to the roof.
They spent all of lunch there, with Peter finally being able to satisfy his need to spin himself a web and his appetite.
When he was done, Peter beckoned his friends to come over and sit with him.
There, curled up with his favorite people in his safe little web, Peter fell asleep almost immediately.
—-
Looking fondly at their spidery friend fast asleep between them, MJ and Ned decided to call Mr Stark. Peter clearly wasn't going to learn anything today, and a school environment would probably just lead to him having a meltdown.

Mr Stark picked up after a few rings.
"Hey Ted, is Pete alright?"

"Yup he's just having a fuzzy day so we figured it would be better if he went home."

"Ahh fuzzy days, i get those. Then pep gets mad at me for spending 48 hours in the lab straight. I'll be there in ten. Bye Ted, bye Michelle. Oh and remember to tell Aunt hottie!"
Mr Stark hung up and Ned immediately whisper squealed
"Oh my gods Tony Stark knows my name!!"

"He got it wrong twice, Ned."

"Shush MJ, let me have my moment."

"Hmm?" Peter shuffled, rubbing his eyes.

"Mr Stank is taking you home, so we need to go to the office and text Aunt May, is that okay Pete?"

Peter smiled at the mention of his mentor, nodding.
They got up, Peter sadly dismantling his web before texting his aunt.

Then the trio went back inside to the office which was thankfully empty.

"Hi, can Peter sign out?" Ned asked the office lady.

"Reason?"

"Umm-" Ned stuttered before MJ swooped in and saved him

"Family issue."

"Right- who's picking him up?"

"I am." Tony Stark said as he strutted into the office, flashing the office lady his famous media smile.
"Hey underoos, i'm taking you back to the tower now, that okay?" Tony said as he turned to peter, fake smile replaced with a more genuine one.

"Mhm." Peter mumbled, standing to hug his mentor (dad),burying his face into Tony's Armani jacket.
"Um wow hello Dr. Stark sir. I've signed peter out so you're all good to go now."  the office lady stuttered.

"Thank you! No one ever remembers my doctorates!"

With that Mr Stark led Peter out of the school and Happy drove them back to the tower, Peter sleepily leaning into
Tony's hold the whole time as he looked forward to what would probably be a star wars marathon followed by Thai food and then he and Tony falling asleep on the sofa together.

Tony smiled to himself, his (shriveled) heart squeezing when the semi-conscious spiderling cuddled into him began to softly purr. He was so getting Friday to record this (and he would definitely not constantly rewatch it...)