Overthinking leads to a party

One night

It had been more than a month since Jaeyoung came back from France. Sangwoo was of course very happy (even if he wasn't showing it) that his boyfriend had come back and was spending all his time with him.

Sometimes, Jaeyoung would go out at night with his friends but he would always come back to Sangwoo later on to cuddle him to sleep. Even if Sangwoo had tried to avoid this situation by changing his passcode ten times already, Jaeyoung still managed to find the new one and would sneak into his house to sleep with him, and Sangwoo had grew accustomed to it.

He was used to waking up around midnight, hearing the noise of someone taping in his passcode and feeling exactly fifty-five seconds later a warm and comforting body surrounding him. Jaeyoung would always sneak behind him and hug him tightly, Sangwoo would pretend to only wake up now and groan and try to push him away but would magically "surrender" to sleep and would nod off in Jaeyoung's arms. Every single night. Except one.

It was already near one A.M and Sangwoo was wide awake, but there was no noise. He was trying to stop his breathing to see if he could hear even a faint sound, but there was nothing. Jaeyoung wasn't there.

Maybe he was late, that's what Sangwoo had thought again and again until three A.M, and Jaeyoung still wasn't there. When he looked at his digital alarm and saw how late it was, Sangwoo found himself growing even more anxious. Something might have happened to him, that may be the reason why he was so late. Feeling his heart pounding in his chest he took his phone and first thought of sending him a message, but he thought he might sound stupid, showing him that he was waiting for him while all the other days he would push him away. He couldn't do that, he would sound like a possessive boyfriend, Jaeyoung had all the rights not to come, after all, he never promised anything. Yeah, maybe he was just sleeping at home, like a normal person. It wasn't weird not to sneak in his boyfriend's room at night, it was even the opposite.

Sangwoo found himself looking at the Instagram app, debating if he should check it or not, he could know why Jaeyoung wasn't there yet, but it would invade the other's privacy, again, Jaeyoung was free to do whatever he wants.

Reluctantly, Sangwoo opened the app, afraid of what he would find. In truth, he was afraid to see Jaeyoung having fun with other people, and just completely forgetting about Sangwoo.

He was fine if the older wanted to have fun with his friends at night, he was fine with all of this, he was even fine with Jaeyoung having a ton of friends and being all touchy with them... Okay, maybe he wasn't totally fine with the last one, but it was still okay as long as the older would come back to him in the end. But here he was, alone.

He feared that Jaeyoung had forgotten about him. It would be easy for him, that's how his life was before, he could just find someone else, someone funnier than Sangwoo and go on with him. But Sangwoo was stuck, his precious routine had been shattered and now, the new routine he had forced himself to adopt was also being shattered. Sangwoo wouldn't find someone else, he didn't want it. He didn't even want Jaeyoung at first. He would grow back to being alone, and that seemed oddly lonely.

When Sangwoo clicked on Jaeyoung's profile, he felt quite relieved to see that the other had posted a story not so long ago, so at least nothing bad had happened to him. But he still felt his chest strangely tightening when he saw that the story was just him and his friends at a bar, drinking and playing pool. It had been posted twenty minutes ago, so, long after Jaeyoung was supposed to come back and the time was written in big white letters in the middle of the picture, as if mocking Sangwoo.

Jaeyoung was late and he was aware of it, he hadn't forgotten the time, he had forgotten Sangwoo. That or he didn't want to come, and Sangwoo couldn't tell which was worse.

That night he stood awake until dawn, overthinking things again and again, not finding peace nor sleep. He still decided to get up and go on with his routine, he could manage one night without sleeping.

In the afternoon he went to the library and tried to work on a subject his teacher had gave him recently, but he couldn't seem to focus. He was still thinking about Jaeyoung and his picture.

Around an hour later, he heard the chair next to his being pushed aside as someone sat there.

"What are you doing?"

Sangwoo's head sprung up as he recognized the voice immediately, it was the one he had missed all night. He tried to look unbothered when he heard Jaeyoung chuckling beside him because of his sudden move.

"I'm working on a subject for my math class."

Sangwoo answered trying to be as normal as possible.

"Okay."

Jaeyoung answered looking at the paper upon Sangwoo's shoulder. After some seconds that felt suffocating for Sangwoo he gathered his courage and asked:

"You didn't come last night?"

It sounded as a question but he was well aware the older didn't, he thought about it enough to be sure of that.

"Oh, so you noticed?"

Jaeyoung answered, laughing bitterly.

"What? Why? Of course I noticed, you weren't there this morning and nobody woke me up in the middle of the night..."

He said as a matter of fact. He was confused about what the older meant by that.

"It's just, you didn't check on me, so, I thought maybe you didn't notice... Or you didn't care..."

"Why should I check on you? You're an adult, you're free to do whatever you want..."

Sangwoo answered still confused.

"It's nothing, forget it... I have to go... Yuna asked for me, she needs help on... something."

Jaeyoung said vaguely as he stood up and left the library, briefly ruffling the younger's hair on his way out.

Sangwoo was even more dumbfounded. First, Jaeyoung spent the whole night out and didn't bother to tell him he wasn't coming back, and now he left to go spend some time with Yuna when he hasn't seen his boyfriend since almost 24 hours. That was so unlike him. Jaeyoung couldn't spend an hour without literally begging Sangwoo for a message, a voice message or a picture, anything to spend more time with the younger.

Sangwoo tried not to think anything of it. Jaeyoung had other friends, and Yuna needed help and she was nice, and it wasn't his business. Jaeyoung was big enough to know what he was doing and what his priorities were. And Sangwoo apparently wasn't part of it.

He gathered his things, he wouldn't do anything more today, he was too tired and preoccupied to achieve a single thing more.

He put his bag on his shoulder and walked towards the exit of the library but before he could pass it, a recognizable laugh was heard at a table just behind him. Sangwoo turned around and immediately spotted the certain someone at a table, their back turned towards him.

There, not even ten meters away from him was Yuna, sitting at a table, with another girl, and no Jaeyoung in sight.

Sangwoo frowned and took out his phone, before he could think more about it, he wrote a message to Jaeyoung.

"Where are you?"

Not even a minute later he received a message from his boyfriend.

"I told you I'm with Yuna, we're at my condo. Why?"

And Sangwoo felt like crying for the first time in ten years.

Hey guys, it's my first book, do not hesitate to tell me your thoughts about it! Feel free to point out errors, English isn't my first language but I believe it's still readable (^v^) 

I'll post the next chapter in two days! 

Love <3