Tammy - If Only

01

Amy

'Come on Ty, we've been through this before, you are gonna be ok...you have to be ok' I cried into his cold lifeless hand.

It was only last week that I was shot in the shoulder and Ty was hit in the back, when some guy took a shot at a wolf heading straight for me and missed. Now he is back in hospital with some sort of Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and I have no idea if he is going to make it or not.

Apparently he got it during his time in Mongolia, and the bullet that hit both of us had enraged it. You know, he had shown so many symptoms of it, but every time when I told him to get it checked out he would shrug it off like it was nothing. After a while I gave up trying to make him go, but I shouldn't have, I mean what if I lose him now because of this? What am I supposed to do without him?

'Lyndy needs you, she needs her dad...come on, you've gotta get better.' I continued to cry.

Just then Grandpa walked in, but I didn't bother moving. 'How's he doing?' he asked.

'Just the same' I replied. 'The doctors think it could still be a while before he gets out of the coma.'

He came over and put his arms around me and said 'Why don't you go home and get some rest, Lyndy has been asking for her mum so you might wanna check on her as well. She's with Lou and Lisa at the moment but I don't know how much longer she'll last without you.'

'I don't want to leave him' I quivered.

'He'll be just fine, I'm sure he'd want you to go check on your daughter. I'll stay with him the whole time and let you know if there is any change. Go on now' he comforted.

'Ok but you let me know if there is any slight change and I'll be here in a second' I said and kissed Ty's head. 'I love you, and I'll be back in a while' I whispered to him. Of course there was no change but somewhere deep inside I knew he heard me.

— — —

'Mummy!' Lyndy raced into my arms as soon as I walked in the door.

'Hey sweetheart!' I replied, trying to sound as happy as I could. I picked her up and walked over to the table where Lou and Lisa were drinking coffee together.

'How's he doing?' Lou asked, looking concerned for me.

'It's almost been three days and there has been no change' I said, hugging Lyndy close for comfort.

'Where's daddy?' she asked me.

'Daddy wasn't feeling too well so he went to the hospital to see if they could help him get better, but he'll be back soon, we might even be able to go visit him in a couple of days' I told her, forcing a smile across my face as I looked her in the eyes.

'Lyndy, why don't you go play in your room or with Katie and let your mum have a bit of a rest, she's feeling a bit tired from all the hard work she's been doing' Lisa said as I put her down.

'Ok!' she said and ran off.

'And how are you doing?' Lou continued to ask.

'I'm as good as someone can be when they are so scared of losing the one person they love the most' I said to her and felt the tears well up inside me. Instead of being able to push them down, I began to cry into her arms as she wrapped them around me. 'I'm so scared. Ty gave me so much love, no matter what, it will last me a lifetime, but I can't bear the thought of losing him. I know things like this have happened before with him, but never quite like this' I began to sob even harder.

'I know honey, but things will get better...I promise' Lou sympathised as she rubbed my back.

'I know it might seem like the end of the world now, but it's still early days, so all you can do is rest for a while and hope for the best' Lisa added and gave me a hug as I got up.