Love Saves

I still awake

We are not alone


Hello everyone and here I'm again - with loads of thoughts and feeling a lot of things as well, but I found peace while I write and this is my escape and maybe the best way to deal with everything inside of me. 

The story I wrote about it's about how I actually feel and also how I would love things happens. 

There's a lot of things happening with me and family, and let's say... In some point you get tired of the same old b*llshit - sorry for the swearword!

I'm sensitive person - not gonna lie - and sometimes it's impossible to describe how I actually feel, because even when I have someone in my life who understand me and it's my another half, he saw me falling a lot of times, crying and etc, but I think this can be a lot to someone, because in the end of the day, it's my problem and only I can solve the mess inside of my head. 

I don't need professional help, I need freedom. In some point of your life, you'll notice that places and people doesn't match with your energy and by my own experience - little things became huge and sometimes you don't know how to deal with, because when you live with people that don't know how to talk or behave, it's quite exhaustive to explain yourself and funny fact it's that: people hurt you and you need to say sorry, to beg for respect and etc.

Well... As you all can see, I'm under a lot of stress and the best way to deal with all this without going to jail, it's writing. Write something it's like a silent cry and scream. I think in some point... My tears will stop and hopefully they'll be tears of joy - joy. 

I'm in my process of die to reborn again, to live... Again how I always wish and the way I deserve. No one was born to suffer forever, I think in the end you'll find balance. You'll feel sad sometimes, but it's temporary. 

I have walked through purgatory before, many times and purgatory was inside my head, during a time in my childhood and people, evil people by my side. Now... Just wait and believe in better days - because they will always happen. There's always a beautiful rainbow after the storm and this rainbow can be a person and also your freedom, when you break the chains. My hands looks tight right now, but I still having hope... Someone will save me.

Now, enjoy the reading - hope someway or somehow, it's gonna help you, if you're suffering too.

Before you read the story, one thing: The story about it's quite sensitive and this is how I actually feel, but doesn't mean that I'm planning something familiar - even when I thought about it before and even recently - but in case you're struggling try to talk with someone you trust, try to find professional help or if you're christian - pray. Maybe you're feeling lost, but remember: Jesus it's always there for you and I promise you one thing - Your pain can be really strong, but you're not alone and he's looking after you. Nothing is forever, even pain.

Sending you lots of love! <3

Few days in heaven

One night I went to sleep and I wake up in a beautiful place, but was empty and no one was there - such a dream! No one bothering me or calling my name.

I thought - "I might be dreaming" - and looks like I was walking touching the clouds, but not any clouds, something special and different.

For a long long time I was feeling peaceful and everything there was quiet and no one talking loud or saying something stupid. Was only... I and heaven? Doesn't matter, at least I was finally in peace and happy.

Suddenly, I saw someone peculiar and quite funny. Was a guy wearing something white and with a beautiful smile, really friendly!

- Hello there!
- Oh... You sounds like...
- Obi-Wan!
- Yeah... But wait where I am?
- In a silent place
- Is this heaven? Dream?
- Let's walk somewhere and watch something...