I was desperate and intoxicated. Drug addict and alcoholic. Waiting for a miracle to pull me out of my depths. You took advantage of it. And I died because of you. You thought it was good to provoke me. You thought being there was enough. Yet it is because you loved me that we are here. You thought screaming was good. You scared me. I came to believe that I would never come out of this relationship. I know I'm toxic, but you were more... That night, I was acting like a bitch. I know that I shouldn't have reacted like that. But Kyde, you killed me.
-You know what? I think you have a fantasy and it's to rape someone for real.
A kiss here, a kiss there, squatting on him, I then went down along his neck, down to his belly to his crotch on his thigh. And I suddenly stopped. I looked at him intently and pulled back while apprehending his reaction. I had lifted myself off him and got ready to leave. I had taken my jacket, but his hand had hit the door violently. He seemed to have lost his gaze and his breath was heard, as if he were a beast. It was exciting, but scary. My evil feelings were in conflict of interest. I put my hand back on the doorknob to try to open it again, but he grabbed my wrist before I reached freedom. At that moment, he threw me on his bed and my head hit the metal headboard. He had been afraid. He was gone. I was lying on the ground, unconscious. I was scared. I was dreaming, I was somewhere else. The birds were singing. I woke up in the hospital. Alive. I had cried. I would have preferred to be dead that day. He hadn't even come to see me. I had so much toxic and misunderstood hope, but he was the only person I had right now. Collection of a misunderstood girl, Karolie.
