Absence

This story is set between Nevermore and Enshadowed, both by Kelly Creagh.

Isobel hugged the covers closer to her, as if it would help her disappear into her sheets. She readjusted herself on her plush mattress, turning onto her right side. She tried to sink into her sheets but it was as if they refused to conform to her body, instead remaining hard and unforgiving. She lay on her back, sighed, and opened her eyes.

She immediately regretted it as she was blasted with the illuminating light of the full moon from outside of her window. She shut her eyes again in order to force herself to fall asleep but she was fully awake. This was the pattern every night and she still rejected the seeming routine. Sighing once more, she left the safety of her covers and slipped out of bed. She walked over to the window, the light slowly revealing her features in the glass as she got closer.

She stared at herself. Her wispy blond curls were now messy tendrils that stuck to her forehead. She touched her dull and lifeless skin; she looked years older than her age. Her lapis lazuli-like eyes looked distant, as if lost in time itself. Her body ached, even though she spent most of her time in rest, slipping away from reality, the reality that was him.

It was ironic that reality equated itself to Varen for her, however he, himself, was lost in his own dreamlike state. A tear slipped past her cheek and she touched it suddenly. The warmth on her cheek chilled Isobel - when had she last felt the pain of Varen's absence? She had spent every waking moment in the effort to eradicate his existence like he had told her to but it was as if he was ingrained in her brain. Isobel still remembered his pin-straight black hair that swept over the left side of his face, which covered his blue-black eyes and his identity in the world. He probably had wanted that - to loom in the shadows of the darkness, until it eventually consumed him.

The tears spilled out now. She allowed herself to feel them, feel the pain that she thought she had been numb to. She wiped her eyes, as she realized that the scars had not yet healed, that they would never heal completely.

She looked at the glow that cascaded from the moon. The light was filled with so much hope, radiating in its beauty as if to promise an eternal shine that all could garner. She shook her head and her curls fell in front of her face, covering her from the light to put her in a moment's darkness. She sighed, pushing the curls out of her face and tucking them behind her ears. Light was merely a mirage; it could not be ignited from darkness. She looked back up at the window and her breath caught in her throat.

It was Varen. He was a reflection in the window but he existed in the moment. His hair was matted on the left side of his face, his blue-black eyes twinkled in the moonlight, and one corner of his mouth was upturned in his usual smirk. Isobel was filled with the warmth of familiarity; this was her Varen. She did not want to shatter the illusion, no, this side of Varen that she had longed, ached, to see once more. Still, her fingers found their way to the window, shaking in the brightness that moonlight brought. However, as soon as her fingers made contact with the window, Varen was gone.

And so was Isobel.

She found herself in a place as dark as night. She stroked the air in order to come across something real but her fingers felt blackness. All she wished for was a ledge to lean against, a whisper of words, a tiny token to show her that she was not alone. However, she could not liberate herself from the nightmare that plagued her reality. Comfort was nonexistent here; she wanted her lush sheets to submerge into once again and envelop herself in the quilted comforter that provided unconditional richness. Yet, she was trapped. Just like Varen, she thought.

The abrupt sound of heavy breathing halted Isobel's thoughts. Her legs shook as she surveyed her scene quickly. Isobel was sure that they would give out at any moment due to the fear that was firing its way up to her core.

She felt a sense of warmth on the back of her neck and Isobel whipped her head around to seek the presence. However, she became lightheaded, causing the figure to blur out of focus. She struggled with her own weakness and felt her body grow weary. A moment's weakness led her to yield to her exhaustion and she began to defy gravity as her legs gave out. Her eyes fell closed as she awaited to be cushioned by the blackness that surrounded her but the figure caught her before she fell into obscurity.

"Isobel," it spoke. She jerked her eyes open.

Her skin had prickled from the soft emission of her name from it's lips. It could only be -

"Varen," she breathed. Varen's piercing blue-black eyes surveyed her face and goosebumps invaded the smooth surface of her arms. She felt comfort in the safety that his embrace brought, never wanting to let go.

Varen moved his gaze to her eyes and Isobel stared intently into his. She searched his face for signs of his presence, however, her heart sunk as she realized that he merely resembled a blank slate. It was too much to hope that his eyes would hold that familiar twinkle, which had departed with the rest of Varen's sanity. This was not herVaren but a replica that had manifested itself from the darkness.

Isobel started to pull away, but found Varen's grip become tighter. Her face drained of colour as she looked up at him and his newly hardened features. His demeanour had evolved into something more sinister. His stare, which had caressed her moments ago, was compelling, as if Isobel was hypnotized. She started to breathe faster as she realized that she was locked into Varen's eyes, with no key to unchain her from his clutches. Suddenly, she felt the air become arid, stripped of any moisture, and she lacked the ability to breathe as Varen became inches from closing in on her.

Isobel's eyes fluttered open and she sat up on her bed, panting, her comforter tangling in the heap of her sheets. Though she was back in the safety of her bed, she felt little comfort. Looking up at the twinkling moonlight, she realized one thing. Though Varen had disappeared into the depths of oblivion, Isobel would not stop until he could be in the safety of her arms once more. She had to - it was her only chance to save his soul.