A Suicidal Regressor's Manual

Last Breath of a Trash

'That was a complete waste of time.' Kayden assured himself, silently.

After wanting so much and trying to act like a normal person throughout his 28 years in his mediocre life, he was left to rot in a dungeon by those he once considered his family.

The same bastards who left him at the mercy of unknown fate as soon as the boy turned 16.

Slowly torn apart, having felt his body piece by piece being ripped out by the sharp teeth of a pack of hellish wolves, that is, a bunch of mid-tier monsters, the pain and anguish finally came to an end after a long time and he was able to rest in peace.

At least so the young man thought.Against his afterdeath expectations, his most important memories flashed through his fragile mind. Delusional, he could even see the translucent figures of those people talking to him.

''So what, Kayden? Why should I help a piece of shit like you? Go fuck yourself and just perish." 

That doomed phrase rumbled through his mind again, making the (not so) young man feel remorse and disgust. The man's mouth tasted bitter at the thought of that stinker woman.

Those had been the words of Claire Ayusrield, the same bitch he'd once loved.

The same person who made fun of him countless times without the young man knowing, until it got to the point where he found out and decided to put a stop to the situation and ended up taking the worst — it was bad luck that he, a guy exiled from his family, had tried to move his chopsticks against a girl from a renowned, rich old-fashioned family. 

'So, in the end, the bastards set me up and made it seem like a common occurrence by dropping me into a dangerous dungeon.' 

Fight or die. 

Live or give up.

Living in such an unfair world, as a weakling, what were his options anyway?

As one of the only individuals in the world who had not awakened an ability, after the Grand Unification, with the appearance of the red star — Despair — in the sky, he was quickly exonerated from his own family's titles and riches.

But it wasn't that simple, he tried to hold on to a slight glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel, before everything went down the toilet.

In a failed attempt to demonstrate his talent at something, Kayden learned etiquette, swordplay, the basics of magic, and advanced investment and finance concepts.

Nevertheless, it was of no use to him. 

As a small boy, still within his family tree, Kayden also tended to take extra classes, pushing himself to the limits mentally and physically, to please his parents and elders in the hopes that he would be praised for his hard work.

He remembered how he lost his youth completely, drowning himself utterly in books and studies — the little boy took art lessons, piano lessons, extra history lessons on Despair and the Great Unification, acting lessons, and even some psychology lessons.

''M-my god, you're a genius!'' His acting instructor used to say that constantly.

To the amazement of all his teachers, Kayden excelled in all of them — although he didn't have an innate ability like other children and people in the world, the boy was, without a doubt, a learning prodigy.

However, his parents and other close members of the clan didn't mind this at all, pouring all their attention on his younger brothers and sisters, which made him really spiteful and jealous.

In fact, his younger brothers and sisters were so spoiled they were praised more than he ever was in his entire life, just for getting a mere D in every theory class.

Whereas, on the other hand, Kayden was forced to get at least an A or he would be punished severely.

'A shitty world, with no salvation.'  He thought, inwardly yawning. 'Regardless of what a subject does, the abysmal difference between one with skill and one without will remain the same.'

Withholding an innate ability from an early age was a notorious feat, as humanity still remained at war with monsters and Beyonders — the title of those who passed through portals to attack the Earth and its inhabitants, without a known reason.

Being an Epic, that is, being part of those who had powers around the world, acting as they saw fit for justice or evil, was almost the same as being a god incarnate on Earth.

Unfortunately, out of the entire Goldwin household, Kayden had been the only case of a normal human recorded in over 50 years of family lore, since the portals and Despair appeared across the planet.

''Accept your fate, like the obedient puppy that you are, and just go die in a dark ditch. Tsk!''

Remembering what his younger sister Justine had uttered a few minutes before his death, the lad's bloodlust permeated the last shreds of his rationality. 

To be honest, Kayden considered himself an idiot, as even though he was born into a cradle of gold, he was still unable to rise above the ranks of people below him.

'Dying like a worm... is my destiny...'

Feeling weaker by the second, he tried to laugh, but all he could hear was an animalistic growl and unintelligible sounds. In that moment, momentary madness took over all his logic, the man felt like he was actually in hell.

He was alone once again.

He had been left behind once again.

He had a red and white target, invisible to his eyes, drawn across his thin back.

He was nothing but a worthless hindrance in the eyes of others.

Come to think of it, even after death, things didn't differ at all from his 28 years of a mediocre life on Earth. 

With these and other morbid thoughts of death and revenge in mind, his daydream finally came to an end. Feeling chills all over his body, petrified, the boy noticed a species of dark mass, soft as a cloud, that devoured his body completely, in a heartbeat.

Closing his eyes once and for all, the endless cold and darkness obscured the last bits of his consciousness, taking him away from the mortal plane.

'Frankly, it was a pathetic trajectory...'

At that moment, surrounded by darkness everywhere, Kayden Goldwin, the Bastard --- as the unfortunates who hated him used to call him --- finally reached the end of his life.

*****************

'Why can I still think?' Perplexed, Kayden considered the possibilities.'Is it some kind of a bad joke made by the gods?' 

His last memory was of promptly witnessing his body being consumed by a large unknown dark mass, originating from the shadows.But for some mysterious reason, the 28-year-old man — "The Bastard" in the words of the other clan members — managed to regain consciousness and woke up.

Curious, he looked down, watching his waist and legs materialize before his eyes in all that vast darkness.Strangely, running his fingers gently over his own smooth, pale skin, he could feel his own touch.

'What the hell is happening here?'  Leaving the young man even more intrigued than previously, strange scenes began to unfold right in front of him.

'For real, what the fuck?'