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Comfort

Arabella:

August 23rd 2022

We got into the car and my hands started shaking again. I've never been so anxious.

Maybe he was lying and the kiss was actually bad and he doesn't like it and he thinks i'm gross and he hates me.

He places his hand on my thigh rubbing strokes back and forth,"Relax bambina."

I look at him, "Sorry."

His hand grips tighter on my leg, "Hey no, never apologize for being nervous, okay?"

I nod my head, "Im fucking obsessed with you Arabella, you don't mind me. We can be honest with how we're feeling. Nothing Is going to change how I feel, Arabella"

"I just. I've only kissed one person and" I shake my head and make a disgusted face. "It was so bad and it was only like 2 seconds. And maybe it was bad because of me, but this was good. But I dont want to gross you out like the guy who kissed me did." He looks at me smirking, he drifts his eyes down to his pants.

His pants that have tightened around his. mm. Man hood.

I sound like an elderly woman.

"You are making me feel a lot Arabella. But disgust is definitely not one of them" My cheeks burn red as I look away from his. bulge.

AH.

Sorry. 

We drive home as he rubs my thigh, a little farther up than usual. And I think if I could, I would have a boner right now.

People always mistake inexperienced for innocence. I'm a reader, of romance. I am very far from innocent minded.

My rice purity score may be 90 but my brain score is much lower.

I've always been opposed to sex because I wanted something real. I've always been innocent because I want real passion like I read about. After a while I think all fictional men lovers realize that you'll never be loved that way.

That's why I held back. I'd rather pretend one day it may happen, instead of trying things and being let down. No one will ever love me the way Klaus loved Caroline, or Atlas loved Lily. It's not real. But now here I am.

Questioning everything I ever thought.

                     **************************

When we get home Vincenzo leads me down the hall instead of upstairs, "Sit down on the stool amore" I listen and sit while he grabs a menu from the side of the island.

He hands me the menu, "Pick ice cream, or another dessert. Whatever you want. It will arrive at the house tomorrow and you can have it here."

Whatever you want.

I smile as I look down the menu and my eyes land on my favorite thing in the world. A container of chocolate ice cream mixed with brownie fudge and chocolate chips.

This was always my order back when I was at my old home. I'm not sure if this feel like my home yet, but I don't know what else to call it, "Can I have this one please"

Vincenzo bends down to kiss my lips lightly, "of course, I'll be right back." Second time. Second time different but just as good. He held the back of my head as he graced my lips with his, softly not aggression or too long. He made it so natural.

I don't think I'm going to get used to this behavior.

I move my way to the living room and sit myself on a comfy couch next to a back stairwell. It was dark interior like everything else, it was decorated nicely but very dark and it didn't feel homey.